BDSM is about giving in to your desires and fantasies. It’s sometimes about exploring the dark side of your personality. And if there is a bit of a submissive urge, how else can you express it, if not through BDSM? Nevertheless, not everyone has the same submissive fiber in their personalities. Some people are more inclined to take orders and let others lead them. Others may be more aggressive in pushing their desires but lack the self-control to act on their instincts. So, if you’ve wondered what causes a submissive personality, look no further!
Here is the short answer! A submissive personality is caused by psychological factors and personality traits. Among these are past trauma or abuse, low confidence and self-esteem, experience and feeling of health and safety, obligation and duty, as well as bonding and trust.
These are all common causes of a submissive personality in BSDM that some dominants need to keep an eye out for to better understand and appreciate their partners’ needs from within. This article provides everything you need to know regarding the subject. So, you don’t want to stop reading here.
What is a BSDM submissive personality type?
Submission is a pattern of behavior, relationship, or communicative style that stems, especially, from a lack of self-esteem. Submissive personality types are those who enjoy being controlled by someone else. If you display one or all of the following characteristics, then you might be a submissive, and BDSM could be a great chance to experience its benefits:
- You’re more inclined to be led and follow orders. This is especially true if you find someone attractive who gives you instructions on how to behave.
- You are easily embarrassed, lack confidence, or possess low self-esteem, especially toward people you find attractive.
- You’re highly sensitive to rejection and are easily offended when your partner doesn’t meet your needs.
- You tend to be very receptive to others’ suggestions and feedback.
Notwithstanding, you want to note that being submissive isn’t just about not liking to take control of your own life; it’s also about having an increased need to be cared for and nurtured by someone else, as opposed to being self-reliant. This can make a submissive person feel emotionally vulnerable and dependent on their Dominant. Conversely, this vulnerability can also make a submissive person extremely clingy.
To better understand which BSDM submissive personality type you are, you must first grasp what makes one individual more drawn to BDSM than another. Many other elements can come into play when determining why one person is more predisposed towards BDSM than others: personal experience, culture, upbringing, and social standards… to name a few.
What Causes a Submissive Personality?
As stated above, the main causes of a submissive personality in BDSM are psychological factors and personality traits. Among these are the following:
- Past trauma or abuse
The submissive personality can be caused by past trauma or abuse or by observing an unhealthy power dynamic in other relationships. If someone has been abused or mistreated in the past, they may have learned that the only way to survive is to submit and give up their power.
- Confidence and Self-Esteem
One of the most common causes of a submissive personality in BDSM activities is a lack of confidence and self-esteem.
If someone feels that they are not enough to take care of themselves, then it is likely that they will be more eager to give up control and trust the people around them in BDSM activities. When you lack confidence and self-esteem, you may consider others to be a threat to you, against which you must defend yourself, sometimes even in advance. Other times, it’s because you may not value yourself highly and believe that others’ needs, opinions, or rights are more important than yours and should be prioritized instead. You then develop a submissive personality.
- Bonding and Trust
Another common cause of a submissive personality when engaging in BDSM activities is the belief that people with this personality type are looking for an opportunity to form a bond or trust with those around them. For example, someone who likes to be dominated might look for opportunities to submit to others as a way of bonding with them.
This can also take place in relationships where one partner has the idea that they need to be able to trust their partner completely. When people have trust and faith in those around them, they often enjoy being submissive as a way of submitting to another person while also establishing that trust.
- Obligation and Duty
Different reasons exist as to why people might feel pressured to submit. One reason is that they are obligated to do so to fulfill a duty or responsibility. For example, if someone has been selected by their partner as their top-level slave, they may feel like they must submit to them at all times.
Even in cases where some people might be uncomfortable with the idea of offering because it goes against who they are as an individual, they will still try to fulfill what is asked of them because it is part of the agreement and duty between them and the person who selected them for this role.
Another type of obligation that can cause someone with submissive tendencies to feel like they have to submit is related to reciprocity. Many types of BDSM activities require partners or slaves who participate in those activities to respect their partner’s limits and boundaries. In this case, even though you might not want to be submissive for your own reasons, you still must do so because it’s something you agreed on before engaging in this activity.
- Health and Safety
Even though BDSM activities are often grounded in the concept of submission, it could be a beneficial trait to have for the health and safety of some people. For example, someone who submits to their partner for health and safety reasons might be able to relax more if they know that their partner is taking care of them in this way, and as a result, they’ll choose to remain submissive.
Note!
You may find yourself drawn to being submissive because it allows you to explore your fantasies, desires, and kinks. It’s also a great way to take care of your sexual needs or get that emotional release we all need sometimes.
Conclusion
So far, we’ve seen that people are sexually submissive in BDSM for different reasons, all of which can be grouped into psychological and personality traits. While some have low self-esteem and confidence, health reasons, and hence are more inclined to being passive and bottom; others may be coerced into submission due to abuse, trauma, or past experiences.
No one is completely confident in every area of their life and every circumstance, even those with healthy self-esteem. Therefore, because we cannot perfectly resist pressure and defend our needs or points of view, we are all submissive to someone at some point. If you are clear now regarding your submission and want to find your dominant half, get ready to find your BDSM community with full guidance in the related post.