11 Tips To Write An Outstanding & Irresistible BDSM Profile


Dating apps have taken the world by storm, attracting thousands of users each. The good news is that it’s easier than ever to find someone whom you like. But with so many options, standing out from the crowd is difficult. 

This is why it’s vital to have a good dating profile to help you grab the attention of a potential match. This is even more important on a BDSM site as people need to decide whether you are open to their fetishes. Read on to learn how to craft the perfect BDSM dating profile for sites such as Alt.com, Passion.com, or AdultFriendFinder.com

BDSM dating
BDSM dating

Choose A Creative Username

The first place to start is by choosing a username. This can be difficult and often requires creativity to help you stand out. Here are some tips you can use: 

  • Avoid sexually provocative names. It can be tempting to use a sexy name, particularly if you are looking for a quick hookup. However, this can backfire, mainly when you must publicly introduce yourself. Furthermore, though people on BDSM sites tend to have thick skin, you don’t want to offend people. 
  • Avoid using numbers in your username. This can make your username harder to read. 
  • You can stay anonymous. Some people are uncertain about BDSM dating and want to keep their kinks private. This is especially common when you are dating in a small town. Because of this, you don’t need to use your real name. 

It’s best to think creatively. Write down multiple options and find the one that works best for you. 

You Don’t Need To List All Your Fetishes

BDSM dating places a lot of value on the fetishes you have, helping you find a partner who shares your fantasies. Because of this, you will need to talk about what turns you on in the bedroom. When using a BDSM app, feel free to go into explicit detail. 

Most of us, though, have dozens of things that make us squeal in pleasure. The good news is that you don’t need to add every fetish to the profile. It can help to write down all your favorite fetishes. Then you can select the top five that best describe what brings you joy in the bedroom. This will give a potential partner a good idea of the type of relationship you are looking for. For example, you might be a “Daddy/Dom” or someone looking for a “Master/slave relationship.” 

It’s essential, to be honest about what you are into. The best part of the BDSM community is how open-minded people are. Don’t worry about being perceived as ‘weird.’ You will be able to find someone who will embrace your fantasies and help bring them to life. Plus, you might never get it if you don’t ask for what you want. 

It can also be a good idea to discuss how much experience you have with the BDSM world. This ensures that your partner will take it easy on someone who is new to the scene. If this is your first time exploring fetish play, you might want to check out our BDSM manual, which discusses the most common terms used in the community. 

BDSM freedom
Different fetishes

Don’t Just Focus On Your Kinks

When creating a BDSM dating profile, it’s important to state what kinks you are interested in. Some sites even give you a list that you can choose from. This helps you find people within the community who share your interests. 

However, you don’t want to make the whole profile about what fetishes you are interested in. You should also make space for your personal life. What are you like in a relationship? What can you offer a potential partner? It can help you get a blank paper sheet and write down your best qualities. Then, you can choose the top five to include in your dating profile. 

Another option is to have a conversation with your friends. You can ask them what your best qualities are. You can then include these in your dating profile.  

Deciding How Much You Want To Reveal

As we mentioned, it’s common to be sensitive about what you want to reveal on a BDSM dating app, especially if you live in a small town. Here are some examples of the information you can conceal within a dating profile:

  • Your real name
  • The town where you live
  • The place where you work
  • Any information about your family, including the names and ages of your children

It’s also important to consider the type of profile picture you are using. Some apps allow you to have public and private photos. This will enable you to remain anonymous in public. When you connect with someone you trust, you can share private photos that reveal your face. 

Consider What You Want From The Relationship

How you write your profile will tell people what you are looking for. As an example, if you are looking for a quick fling, you might want to create a sexual profile. In this case, you can focus more on your kinks and market yourself as a good lover.  

However, sometimes you might want to create a profile to help you start a long-term relationship. In this case, you might want to place a stronger emphasis on your personal qualities and what you can offer a potential partner. 

Furthermore, the type of app you are using will determine how interested people are in forming long-term relationships. Things like Pure App and Only Fuck are best for quick hookups. KINKD and Vanilla Umbrella are good choices for people looking to form a personal bond. 

Get Specific

The words you use on your dating profile matter. It will be more engaging if you get specific about your personality. For example, saying “I like movies” is a bit generic. Instead, mention your favorite genres, actors, or directors. You can also talk about why you like those things. 

Make sure that the tone you are using in your dating profile is reflective of your personality. For example, don’t be afraid to include jokes that show your sense of humor. 

Make The Profile Brief

Most people have a limited attention span. They don’t want to read a full psychological write-up. They just want to understand your interests and what kinks turn you on. Plus, this allows you to leave some things to the imagination, giving them a reason to talk to you and find out more information. 

Selecting The Right Profile Picture

Dating apps can be a visual medium. Often, people will use your photo to determine if they are interested in reading more about you in your profile. Here are some tips you can use to create an image that will help you attract matches: 

Profile picture
Profile picture for a BDSM dating
  • Select a photo that matches your profile. It’s best to choose an image that fits your profile. For example, if you are looking for a quick hookup, you might want to show off your sexy side by slinging a whip over your shoulder. 
  • Consider your outfit. You can use your clothes to signal that you are interested in BDSM. For example, women can use a leather bodysuit, while men might want a faux leather vest. While it isn’t explicit enough to violate terms and conditions, these clothes can help people see that you are interested in kinky sex. 
  • Choose something authentic. You don’t want to misrepresent yourself with an inaccurate picture. If you want, you can also include photos of yourself engaging in fetish play, like wearing handcuffs. Just check the site’s terms first to ensure you don’t get banned for using sexually explicit material. 
  • Avoid group shots. Always choose solo pictures. Group shots can confuse people about whom they will be going on a date with. 

It can help to show your potential profile pictures to your friends. They can help you narrow down your options and find something that works for you. 

Creating A BDSM Profile On Vanilla Dating Apps

Vanilla apps can be used to find a partner who is into BDSM. However, taking this approach is often best if you are into light kinks. There are a few ways to create a profile to help you find people who are open to BDSM play; these include: 

  • State your love of kink. You can be open about your love of BDSM in your profile. Phrases like “loves kinky sex” or “looking for D/s” will clarify your intentions. This is also a great way of filtering out those who won’t be able to embrace your lifestyle. 
  • Using code words. Many people prefer to use code words to keep a low profile. Phrases like “open-minded,” “likes to take the lead,” and “adventurous in the bedroom” can help signal that you are interested in BDSM sex. 
  • Post a kinky photo. You don’t need to be sexually explicit in this image, especially if that would violate the app’s terms. But there shouldn’t be anything wrong with having a whip or holding a pair of handcuffs. 

These changes will help you weed out vanilla lovers. But you will still need to be selective. First, interview your potential matches to make sure that they are open to exploring your BDSM fantasies. If you want more information about this area, check out this guide to how BDSM dating is different from vanilla dating

Adjusting Your Profile Settings

One of the last things to consider is how you want to configure your profile settings. Some of the things to consider include the following: 

  • The distance you are willing to travel. If you are on a BDSM app, you will often need to be ready to travel a little further to meet a potential match due to the smaller user base. This is especially common if you live in a small town. 
  • What you are looking for. How the search feature works will depend on the app you are using. Sometimes, you will need to specify whether you are searching for a male or female. Furthermore, you will need to say what types of kinks you want. 
  • Age. Apps like Tinder allow you to state what age range you want. However, it’s often best to stick to people relatively close to your age. 

Creating A Couple’s Profile

Many BDSM apps will allow you to sign up as a couple, so you can attract people who are interested in exploring ethical non-monogamy.

Couple dating on BDSM dating website
Couple dating on BDSM dating website

Here are some tips you can use when creating a couple’s profile:

  • Choose a picture that shows both of you. Make sure that the photo also gives an insight into the relationship dynamics. 
  • Describe your relationship. People will need to know who is dominant and who is submissive. If you have unique names, like Master, they should be included in your profile. 
  • Discuss what you are looking for. Are you looking for a quick hookup? Or do you want someone to be a more permanent part of your relationship? Do you want a submissive personality, or do you want someone to dominate you? Will you both be taking part, or will one person be watching?  
  • Talk about what kinks you are into. Again, you don’t need to state every fetish you enjoy. But you should give potential matches some insight into what they can expect. 

It’s a good idea to choose an app that allows you to have joint control over your BDSM profile. This will enable you to find a partner that works for both of you. 

Final Thoughts

Your success in the dating world will depend on how you structure your profile. It’s the only way to grab someone’s attention on a crowded dating platform. Hopefully, these tips will help you find a potential partner who will embrace your love of BDSM. 

Of course, your profile isn’t set in stone. If you aren’t getting the responses you wanted, you can always change things. 

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