The Most Common Punishments In BDSM: Overview

BDSM creates some exciting sexual relationships between partners. One central aspect involved in BDSM is that of punishment. There are many different forms of punishment in BDSM, and today we will look at the most common ones. You might be familiar with some and many more you’ve never heard of.

First, punishments in BDSM can take three forms, which are verbal, psychological, and physical. Some of the most common types of punishments in BDSM are psychological and physical. Physical punishments are perhaps the most common. Physical punishments could involve whipping, spanking, flogging, playing with wax, being tied up, and much more.

Today, we want to take a much closer look at all the different types of punishments in the BDSM world. To be clear, here we are talking more about funishment than punishment.

Funishment is something that both parties enjoy, whereas punishment is purely for disciplinary purposes and is generally not enjoyed. However, whether punishment or funishment, both are always consensual at all times. If you want to learn more about verbal, psychological, and physical punishments used in BDSM, keep reading because we will cover everything in great detail.

Table of Contents

What Are Common Punishments in BDSM?

Three main types of punishments can be used in BDSM. The first of these is verbal punishment. Verbal punishment usually takes the form of name-calling or verbal humiliation. We will provide you with plenty of examples of all forms of punishment further below! This could mean being verbally dominant and forcing your partner to be submissive with their words. It can also involve calling your partner dirty and submissive names, such as “whore” or “slut”. This is generally seen as the simplest type of punishment in BDSM, as well as the least harsh.
The second type of punishment often used in BDSM is psychological punishment. Psychological punishment can take many different forms. For example, it could involve forcing your partner to be extremely submissive and obey all your orders. Sometimes, it could even involve forcing your partner to wear a leash and walk on their hands and knees like a dog. Psychological punishment could also deny your partner access to various sexual toys, activities, or sexual favors. It could also mean that you control all of their actions.
The third and perhaps the most common and loved form of punishment in BDSM relationships is physical punishment. Generally speaking, when people inquire about punishment in BDSM, they mainly talk about physical punishments. Physical punishments can take many different forms, dozens.

What Are Some Examples of Physical Punishments That Might be Used in BDSM?

Let’s take a quick look at some of the most common types of physical punishment in BDSM:

Examples of Common Physical Punishments in BDSM	Explanation
Slapping	This involves slapping with an open hand, often on the face and buttocks.
Flogging	Involves using a flogger or horse-riding crop to strike the sub on various body parts.
Spanking	Maybe done with an open hand, a wooden paddle, a leather belt, or other objects.
Whipping	Bullwhips and specialty BDSM whips can be used to cause pain to various parts of the body.
Wax Play	Hot wax from low-temp candles can be dripped on the partner to cause heat-related pain.
Penile Cages	Penile cages can stop a man from using his penis for sexual activities.
Genital Torture	Hands and clamps can squeeze the genitals and cause pain, often to the testicles.
Electro-Play	Using electrical shocks, particularly to the nipples and testicles, is a common form of physical punishment.
Nipple Play	Hands, clamps, and clips of all sorts can be used to pinch and squeeze nipples.
Choking	Choking can be used as punishment and a form of dominance, which may be done by hand or with the help of toys.
Chastity Belts	Chastity belts can physically prevent partners from engaging in sexual activities. For more, see our article on female chastity.

What Are Some Examples of Psychological Punishments That Might Be Used in BDSM?

Besides physical punishments, many psychological punishments may be used in BDSM. Let’s look at some examples:

Examples of Common Psychological Punishments in BDSM	Explanation
Denial	A partner may deny a sexual activity, physical touch, or use a particular sex toy as a psychological punishment.
Obeying Rules	Obeying rules, such as only being allowed in bed during a specific time, having to behave in certain ways, or even talking in particular ways, can all be used as punishment in BDSM.
Orgasm Control	A common form of psychological punishment is orgasm control, where a partner controls when a sub can and cannot orgasm.
Golden Showers	Golden showers, urinating on your partner, can be used as a form of psychological humiliation.
Role Play	Role play, such as forcing a partner to dress up as a dog, wear a collar and leash, and walk around on all fours while barking, is a common psychological punishment.
Public Humiliation	Public humiliation involves sharing private sexual details, fantasies, and shortcomings in general settings to exhibit control.

What Are Some Examples of Verbal Punishments That Might Be Used in BDSM?

There are also a few types of verbal punishment used in BDSM, so let’s take a quick glance at what these might look like:

Examples of Common Verbal Punishments in BDSM	Explanation
Name-Calling	This may involve calling the Sub names, such as whore, slut, bitch, or any other such unflattering term.
Shaming	Body shaming may involve verbally insulting the sub’s appearance, behavior, or personality. This could involve calling a Sub fat, stupid, ugly, or any other such term.
Verbal Degradation	Verbal degradation may involve something like telling the Sub that they are worthless or useless.
Verbal Scolding	Verbal scolding is perhaps the simplest form of punishment. This is direct verbal discipline for a specific action, for example, telling the Sub that they are a “bad boy” for doing something unwanted.

How Does a Submissive Typically React to Punishment in BDSM?

Submissives usually react to punishment in a submissive manner. This depends on the exact person, although most submissives tend to accept it and are often even grateful. However, this has to do more with funishment than punishment.

Funishments are fun punishments, and both parties can get joy out of these. However, actual punishments are meant to instill discipline and good behavior; those punishments are not necessarily enjoyable and are usually things that the Sub finds distasteful and unenjoyable. A sub should react to punishment by correcting behavior, but they usually won’t express any joy. For more details on the subject of funishment vs. punishment, see our detailed article here.

Gagged dark blonde woman with a Leather PVC Bust harness — Leather or PVC Bust Harness

Frequently Asked Questions:

How does a Dominant decide what type of punishment to use?

The severity of the crime often dictates the type of punishment being used. However, good communication is needed here, as both partners should agree on the kind of punishment being used, as it should be enjoyable for all parties involved.

How can a Dominant ensure that the submissive consents to punishment in BDSM?

The best method to use here is the safeword method. Pick a safeword that puts a full stop to all activities. Furthermore, all the rules and aspects of the Dom/sub relationship need to be agreed upon before starting any sort of punishment. BDSM is always consensual, also in the case of every punishment method. It is a good idea to create a Master/slave contract where everything is clearly stated.

Can punishment be enjoyable for a submissive in BDSM? If so, how?

Yes, punishment can be enjoyable, particularly when it is a funishment or fun punishment. The simple act of being submissive is often quite satisfying. Many submissives enjoy pain and are sexually aroused when pain is inflicted upon them. Exactly what qualifies as a fun punishment or funishment, and what is an unenjoyable punishment, depends on what the Sub likes and doesn’t like. If pain is enjoyable, then it is more of a funishment rather than a punishment, and vice versa. Related read: BDSM Punishment vs. Funishment.

Are there any punishment types considered off-limits or unsafe in BDSM? If so, what are they?

Generally speaking, a punishment that is not consensual or causes long-lasting pain or psychological trauma must be avoided.

Final Thoughts

Whether we are talking about verbal, physical punishment, or psychological punishment, submissives often enjoy both, especially if it’s more a funishment than a punishment. Something about being submissive, putting yourself in someone else’s hands, and handing over total control is entirely exhilarating.