Diving into the unknown in the world of BDSM, many of us have questions about the differences between sub, slave, and bottom. Are they different or all the same?
The titles sub, slave, and bottom denote different roles and power dynamics in BDSM. A bottom is a receiver of BDSM activities, following orders and allowing the Top to lead. A sub is typically a submissive partner to a Dominant, engaging in a partial power exchange. A slave is someone who has fully surrendered to their Master and is actively owned.
Each role has its responsibilities and must be entered into with mutually agreed-upon boundaries. In this blog post, we uncover the intricate power dynamics and responsibilities of being a bottom, sub, or slave and the subtle but significant differences between the three.
Let’s start with the lowest in the hierarchy of power exchange– The bottom!
1. Bottom
Definition:
A bottom is a receiver of BDSM activities. During BDSM play, bottoms are typically submissives who enjoy punishment or punishment (for the difference, see here), such as being spanked, whipped, or tied up. The primary purpose of the bottom’s role is for physical roleplay or scenes, and they are usually not expected to submit outside of those scenes.
Power dynamic:
The power dynamic between the bottom and the Top in BDSM is one of very minimal power exchange. The bottom is not likely to be holding any real power or control in this dynamic and instead merely follows along and allows the Top to take the lead. A bottom is not expected to make any decisions or take on any responsibility; instead consents to the scene and then submits their body to the Top in whatever capacity they agree to.
Roles and responsibilities:
- Taking orders and obeying the wishes of the Top during a scene.
- Be willing to receive pleasure and pain in whatever form the Top may give it.
- Open to new sensations (e.g., bondage, roleplay, etc.).
- Adjust/adapt to different roles as required by the Top.
- Demonstrating respect and trust while acknowledging the inherent minimum power dynamic in all BDSM activities.
- Providing insight and feedback after a scene (see our article about aftercare).
2. Sub
Definition:
A Sub, short for submissive, is a partner to a Dominant, who is in control during BDSM play. They are expected to follow instructions from the Dom but, at the same time, have the autonomy to say no when uncomfortable. This is the widest term in the D/s relationship dynamic and is suited for those who naturally have submissive traits.
Power dynamic:
The submissive and the Dominant dynamic is more of a partial power exchange, with the submissive voluntarily submitting to the Dominant’s control. However, the submissive retains the right to negotiate the conditions of the power exchange and is ultimately responsible for their safety and well-being during the scene.
Roles and responsibilities:
- Seek out casual contact with the Dom partner where they can move in and out freely.
- Submit sexually during plays.
- Be a domestic servant while still maintaining some level of equality.
- Communicate needs, interests, and limits to their Dom.
- Be creative in trying new experiences based on their understanding of the Dom partner’s desires.
- Submit to physical control and punishment when necessary.
3. Slave
Definition:
A slave is a submissive actively owned by a Master/Mistress, meaning their submission and obedience are always required. There is an expectation of complete compliance with no room to say no and consequences for disobedience. Should any individual wish to become a BDSM slave, they should do so with understood and agreed limits. A slave is usually a 24/7 agreement, although it can be shorter depending on the agreement. Learn more about slave training here.
Power dynamic:
The slave- Master dynamic is a total power exchange based on consensual non-consent. The slave voluntarily consents to the Dominant’s control regardless of their needs, desires, or limits. The Dominant has full authority over the slave, and the slave must obey their orders without exception or hesitation. The slave must consent to No-Consent; otherwise, their submission is invalid.
Roles and responsibilities:
- Seek ownership from a powerful Master or Mistress.
- Acknowledge the superior authority of the Master/Mistress.
- Submit entirely at all times with less or no negotiations.
- Give up all limits except those the Master sets for them or agreed between them upfront (see hard-/softlimits).
- Undergo and embrace whatever punishments, humiliation, and degradation the Master/Mistress sees fit.
- Be a devoted and unconditional source of pleasure and sexual satisfaction for the Master/Mistress.
FAQs
Are slaves subs?
The term “slave” and “sub” both conjure up an image of a power dynamic between individuals; however, there is an essential distinction between them. Slaves experience a lack of control, autonomy, and power. In contrast, while they may relinquish certain freedoms and choices, subs still maintain partial power and agency in a consensual Dom/sub relationship.
Can a sub be owned by a Dominant partner?
Yes! A Dom partner can own a submissive, but with a mutual understanding that the ownership is established within agreed-upon boundaries. It is a consensual exchange built on trust and respect rather than a form of actual ownership leveraged for slaves. It is important to note that ownership of a sub is not a lasting commitment, and the terms of ownership are flexible and subject to both partners’ desires and wishes.
What is the difference between a slave and a kajira?
The distinction between a slave and a kajira lies in their cultural underpinnings. At the core, slaves are a general BDSM term for anyone showing total obedience and submission to their Master or Mistress, surrendering their autonomy and decisions to their owner. A kajira, however, has a more specific history and came into being in the Gor Saga (as described in John Norman’s erotic science fiction novel series). Today, kajiras can be found living in the Gorean lifestyle, embodying the complex world of this fictitious culture, which includes strict protocols and behavior that allows for a consensual bond of ownership and submission between the kajira and a Gorean master.
Is a BDSM pet a slave?
No, a BDSM pet is not necessarily a slave – they are something wholly unique. A pet offers its body for pleasure and its services for entertainment and enjoys the simplicity of a cause-and-effect relationship. Unlike a slave with a more active type of play, the pet is passive and submissive and finds pleasure in the commands and care given to them.
The Bottom Line
As we’ve explored, the three BDSM roles of bottom, sub, and slave are all quite different. In addition, they all offer different power dynamics, roles, and responsibilities.
From bottoms exploring kinky scenarios through BDSM activities, to subs negotiating the exchange of power and ownership, to slaves giving over complete obedience, there is something to suit everyone willing to explore the side of a D/s relationship. But ultimately, the proper role for you is the one that feels right and whatever works best for you!
Learn about the distinction between Dominant/submissive and Master/slave relationship dynamics in BDSM here.