Sexting With A Twist: Master The Art Of BDSM Texting

Ready to take your BDSM relationship to the next level, even when you’re not together? Let’s explore the art of sexting and texting in the world of BDSM! In this comprehensive guide, we’ll cover everything from foreplay to long-distance intimacy and how to make your text exchanges truly memorable.

The good news is that you don’t need to be an expert wordsmith to create a sexy text. All you need to do is understand what excites your partner. So, whether you’re a daring Dom or a sultry sub, our tips and tricks will transform your texting game, ensuring you and your partner stay connected and excited, no matter the distance. So, keep reading to learn how to get your partner excited whenever their phone dings.

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When Should You Start BDSM Texting?

There are plenty of reasons why you might want to consider incorporating BDSM texting into your relationship. These can include:

Foreplay. If you want to meet up later, a few sexy messages is an excellent way of building anticipation and getting your partner into the mood. You can also lay the groundway for a BDSM scene. For example, you can establish a scenario or text as a character.
Staying in touch in a long-distance relationship. Building a sense of intimacy with your partner can be challenging if you are in a long-distance relationship. Sexy messages are a great way to get them in the mood and learn more about the types of kinks they are interested in. Related read: How To Have A Great BDSM Long Distance Relationship.
Trying out a fantasy. You can test the fantasy over text, then discuss whether you would be comfortable bringing it to life.
Establishing your role. You might want to use the texts to affirm your place in the relationship. For example, a Dom can send commands to a submissive.

Of course, you don’t need an explicit reason to send your partner a sexy message. You might just want to send them a hot picture to tell them you are horny and ready for attention.

Types Of BDSM Texts

The good news is that BDSM Play gives you a vast range of text options to explore. Here is a quick rundown of some of the types of sexts you can send your partner:

Commands. If you are a Dom, you might want to send your sub a list of commands you want them to complete. You can request photo or video proof that they have done as you asked.
Requests. If you are a sub, you can send a request to your Dom. This might be asking permission to play with yourself. Or you can suggest a fantasy you want to act out in the bedroom.
Sexy photos. This is a tried-and-true way of getting your partner excited.
Fantasies. If you have a specific fantasy, you can text it to your partner. They might even add to the details, working with you to create a sexy story.
Teasing. There are plenty of ways you can tease your partner. For example, you might want to send a picture of you dressed in your work clothes with a caption like “I wish you could tear these off.” Or you might want to talk about what you will do to your partner later that night.

Of course, this is just the tip of the iceberg. Within each of these categories, you can take dozens of approaches. Your imagination only limits your text messaging success.

Tips Before Sending A Sexy Message

Before you should send a sexy text message to your partner, there are a few things that you should do. Here are some of the things that you should consider:

Get consent. Trust and consent are the bedrock of any BDSM relationship. Talk to your partner about their boundaries before you start sending messages. For example, do they like to receive explicit messages during work? Do they like receiving BDSM requests via text? Establishing a digital safe word can be a good idea, stopping the sexy messages.
Double-check the recipient. We’ve all heard nightmare stories of a sexy text message intended for a partner getting sent to their parents instead.
Start slow. At first, it’s common to feel slightly uncomfortable getting hot and heavy over text. Starting slowly will allow you to build your confidence and establish a routine that works for both of you.
Don’t jump straight into nudes. It can be tempting to start a conversation with a sexy picture. But this can backfire. You don’t want your partner to be in the middle of an important meeting when your naked image appears on their lock screen. Send a few text messages to lay the groundwork first.
Get feedback regularly. It’s a good idea to seek feedback, at least on your earlier text exchanges. You’re still getting to know your partner, so it can be challenging to know what types of things will turn them on.
Experiment. As we discussed, there are plenty of types of BDSM messages you can send. Try a few options to see which ones drive your partner wild.

Knowing When To Send A BDSM Text

One of the most challenging parts of BDSM texting is deciding when it’s appropriate to text your partner. However, there are a few ways that you can solve this problem; these include:

Creating set times to text. During these times, you will be free to sext your partner.
Using a safe word. If you want, you can send sexy messages to your partner at any time of the day. However, a safe word can signal that it’s an inappropriate time or that the conversation has taken an uncomfortable turn.
Setting an initiation code. You can also send a coded word to signal that you want to start a sexy conversation.

Over time, you’ll be able to establish a texting routine that works for both of you.

How To Craft A Great BDSM Sext

There are a few things that you need to do to create a sexy exchange that your loved one is sure to love. Here are some things to keep in mind:

Texting in BDSM

Be specific. Don’t be afraid to get into the details of your fantasy. For example, talk about how you want to kiss your partner, how you will grab them during sex, or how they make you feel.
Get interactive. Sometimes, you want to be a Dom, sending a command to your sub. But it can be more fun to have an interactive conversation. For example, you might want to describe a scenario. You can talk about the way you want to have sex with your partner, and they can describe the way they will respond to your touch.
Embrace your kinks. Your text conversations should reflect your kinky interests. Play into what you know will excite your partner in the bedroom. For example, you might want to send a picture of yourself wearing a ball gag.
Ask questions. You can also ask your partner questions. For example, you can ask them what they want to do in the bedroom or whether they are horny.
Combine your sexts with real-world play. You should try to combine your sexts with real-world play. For example, you might want to create a fantasy that you will explore in the bedroom. Even if you can’t be together in person, you can still use webcams and remote sex toys to explore your kinkier side. Here are some more ideas for remote sex to explore.

Tools To Help You Create A Sexy Text Conversation

There are a few tools that you can use during a kinky conversation with your partner; these include:

Photos. A sexy photo is a great way to spice up your conversation. In addition, this can be a great way of showing your partner how excited you are. However, these images don’t always have to be sexual. For example, a Dom might ask their sub for proof of completing a challenge.
Videos. This can allow you to take your photos to the next level. There are dozens of examples of the type of videos you can take. For example, you might want to perform a striptease to turn your partner on. Or you can send them a video of you discussing a fantasy.
Include a voice recording. A voice recording can allow you to narrate a hot fantasy. Or you can record yourself moaning in pleasure as you read your partner’s texts.
Using a sexy emoji. A picture is worth a thousand words. So, don’t be afraid to use a few emojis to spice up the chat.
Sex gifs. With a quick online search, you’ll see dozens of sexy gifs you can save and send with your text.
Phone sex. Sometimes, it’s hard to say everything in written words. So you can start talking through text. But when the conversation starts to get too steamy, you can switch to a phone call, where you can use your voice and moans to express your emotions.

It should be noted that you can also use specialized apps for sexting. For example, an app like Signal allows you to keep the conversation private. Everything you send will be encrypted. Plus, you can program your texts to delete after a certain period automatically.

Being Dominant Via Text

One of the most exciting parts of BDSM sexting is the element of role play. Here are some tips to help you dominate a submissive partner through a text exchange:

Send your commands. You can send your submissive a message, telling them precisely what you want from them. This should be consistent with your style of BDSM. For example, a sadist might want to ask their slave to humiliate themselves. A Daddy might ask their little one to ensure they drink the right amount of water. You should ask for some proof that your submissive completed their task.
Send a punishment. If your sub didn’t follow your instructions, you could send them a punishment. This can be anything from self-flogging to a form of humiliation. Here are some more BDSM Long Distance Punishments That Work.
Share some kinky roleplay. You might want to spell out a BDSM fantasy over text. This can be a great way to delve into fetish play.
Stay in control. There are plenty of ways that you can control the situation over text. One of the best options is to plan what responses your sub might provide. Then, you will be able to have your comeback ready to go.

Being Submissive Over Text

As a submissive, you should always seek new ways to please your Dom. Here are some tips to help you express this over text:

Be willing to give over control. Just like in the bedroom, there are times when you might want to let your Dominant lead. For example, you might want to allow them to set up the fantasy.
Use dirty talk. There are plenty of dirty talk phrases that you might want to explore. For example, you can tell your partner how much you want them to make you cum or how much you want to feel their touch on your body. Over time, you’ll learn exactly what to say to get your partner into the mood.
Embrace your BDSM personality. Make sure to embrace your type of BDSM submission style during texts. For example, a brat will want to find ways to annoy their master before they are tamed into submission.

Final Thoughts

You don’t need to limit your BDSM conversations to the bedroom. You can send your partner a sexy text message or risqué photo. This is a great way to turn them on, boosting the anticipation between play sessions.

The good news is that you don’t need to be a Master at dirty talk to begin with. Instead, the more you text your partner, the more your confidence will grow, and you’ll be able to learn exactly what will turn them on. Before you know it, your messages will be filled with the hottest conversations, and you’ll be able to get your partner horny with just a few words.