Even though it’s been 20 years since the release of the pioneering film, Secretary is still considered to be one of the most beautiful BDSM love stories ever written.
The BDSM lifestyles include sex, whips, chains, bondage, Sadism, and Masochism, and the performances of Maggie Gyllenhaal and James Spader in the Secretary, immersed viewers in the realm of Bondage, Discipline, Submission, and Dominance.
The movie came out in 2002 and was based on Mary Gaitskill’s 1988 collection of short stories called Bad Behavior. It follows the story of a young woman named Lee Holloway (played by Maggie Gyllenhaal), who is recently discharged from a mental institution after battling issues related to her mental health and engaging in acts of self-harm. She gets hired as a secretary for E. Edward Grey, a demanding lawyer, and enters a D/s relationship, in which she takes on the role of submissive to Grey’s dominant (played by James Spader). The relationship between the employee and the boss then leaves the realm of professionalism and enters the sphere of sexual sadomasochism. The audience is treated to a slow, sensual tease of desire and pleasure as the two participate in a power dynamic of spanking and humiliation.
What Makes Secretary a Different Gravy?
The BDSM movie Secretary defies expectations. It was the first commercial film to use BDSM as a story device, and it helped normalize what had previously been seen as a sexual taboo. Secretary showed how kink could be a part of a “normal” relationship, validating the characters’ real needs and choices as just another form of human sexuality. It paved the way for people of all orientations and orientation negotiables to talk about how kink play may enhance intimacy in a relationship. And the best thing was that it demonstrated that there is more to BDSM than just inflicting pain or using corporal punishment devices like whips and chains.
Unethical and Ethical Dominance
It is no surprise that hitting your secretary is a terrible plan. The boss-employee power imbalance makes it exceedingly challenging to decline sexual approaches politely, and as a woman, doing so is always a terrifying experience. The plot of this film is entirely fictional, so make sure not to approach your secretary sexually.
Once you realize it’s a cinematic fantasy, despite its accurate details, it’s much simpler to enjoy the film. However, aside from the professional aspect of their connection, the affair remains reasonably ethical and is primarily driven by Lee, the submissive, as it ought to be.
Since they are playing comedy, they go to ridiculous lengths with this dynamic, such as having the media report on her “hunger strike,” which references yet another aspect of their kink plot. In addition to that, they touch fleetingly on pony play and even make a passing reference to omorashi (erotically wetting yourself).
Pain and Pleasure
In the film “Secretary,” we see how “dominance” and “submission” may play out in real life, as well as how suffering (masochism) can be so gratifying.
By the time Mr. Grey grants Lee’s permission to go for a stroll, you start to connect with him and view him as a sympathetic figure. He recommends that she take the afternoon off work and walk home because he sees that she is having difficulty. She could go on her walk guilt-free, thanks to his blessing.
This scene exemplifies the pleasure that can be gained from having your Dom tell you to let loose and have fun. There are a lot of people who have enormous guilt complexes in relation to joy and pleasure. It appears to be self-centered and unwarranted. There are occasions when you require permission from a person in a position of power and authority.
Empowering Relationship
Lee benefits from Edward’s domination and control freakery to a large extent. When he finally convinces her to put an end to her cutting, their connection crosses the sexual threshold. His suggestion for releasing her pent-up energy is far more beneficial to her mental and physical health than using the razors she keeps hidden under her bed. She instructs her mother to stop waiting in the parking lot for her, takes her first walk alone in a park, and throws out all of her razors after their first session together. She starts smoking (which is gross, but it’s symbolic) and masturbating, both of which are signs of maturing into an adult. Her clothing also becomes more fashionable.
Exciting Sex
Let’s not sugarcoat it: The majority of the sexually explicit moments in the more recent BDSM plot “50 Shades of Grey” are somewhat undermined by the film’s corny dialogues and make it a pretty standard ” sex movie,” the kind of thing that’s seen all the time. In the end, the props are nothing more than objects in the room while things are getting steamy. Secretary, on the other hand, is a different kind of gravy who knows how to turn up the beat. To begin with, that teeny-tiny finger rub while he is having an orgasm behind her is far too steamy. This makes the sexual interaction between Ana and Christian look like child’s play.
Secretary nails the art of sexual dominance right in another way: Even while being bound, whipped, and shouted at is a common component in BDSM, this is not the primary focus of the method. Foreplay consists of all the little things, such as wanting to know what she’s eating and all those red pens. When was the last time you witnessed female masturbation performed so openly and unapologetically? In Secretary, there are two masturbation scenes, but there could be more considering pop culture.
It’s a Must-Watch BDSM Movie
Secretary, in contrast to 50 Shades of Grey, is able to depict BDSM in all of its stunning intricacy while simultaneously maintaining its ability to be both erotic and relatable. The filmmakers behind this movie had a solid grasp on the material they were working with, as seen by the fact that they could craft a sexy, feminist, feel-good romantic comedy with a happy resolution.
The Goofy BDSM Film “Secretary” Is a Lot More Enjoyable than “Fifty Shades of Grey”
There are many people who are fans of Christian Grey, but there’s no shortage of people who believe, with good reason, that The Secretary is a much better BDSM movie than Fifty Shades of Grey. While both are undeniably cheesy and sexy, the Secretary came up with the “Mr. Grey” nickname first, and the described version of the BDSM relationship is far less problematic than the one depicted in Fifty Shades of Grey. You will find much more details about the movie Fifty Shades of Grey and how it “really” represents BDSM in our blog here.
It would appear that they share a lot of similarities at first glance. A young, submissive woman named Lee Holloway works for a dominant lawyer whose surname is also Grey in the film Secretary, which is also based on a short story by Mary Gaitskill called “Bad Behavior.” Aside from their shared premise, the films couldn’t be more dissimilar. Secretary’s sexual tension rises without words while Anastasia fights against Christian’s kink needs, and the couple constantly discusses the state of their relationship (until the iconic spanking scene, at least).
Arguments have been raised that the storyline of “Fifty Shades of Grey” verges on abusive behavior and does not portray a BDSM relationship appropriately. Since this is the case, it would behoove those individuals who are interested in getting a glimpse into the world of BDSM to watch this movie instead, which is not only hilarious and sexy as hell but also includes the compassion, trust, and love that are essential components of a relationship of this nature.
Closing Word
Secretary may be mild for some, but it’s a great movie for an intro to the kink world. It is more about kink psychology than physical, but it is a beautiful film, and personally, I think it’s a great representation of the lifestyle, especially into Sadism and Masochism.
If you want to learn more about the latter ones, check out our dedicated blogs on those topics: