Sadism: Not Only Related to BDSM

Human beings usually do things to avoid pain and obtain pleasure. Sadism is an exciting intersection of both. It is the practice of causing harm to other people while gaining satisfaction from it. Other sadists experience pleasure just from merely watching others go through painful ordeals. In the context of BDSM, sadism is always based on mutual consent!

Sadism is defined as the attainment of pleasure, often sexual in nature, from inflicting harm on other people. This can be physical, emotional, or psychological harm. Sadism isn’t only practiced in the bedroom. It is not unusual to be seen in different settings, particularly in the professional environment, wherein superiors or people with authority may abuse their power to cause harm to the people around them.

Sadism varies in terms of intensity. There are “everyday sadists” that are less pathological and more manageable. Some extreme sadists revel in apparent acts of cruelty and would go to extreme lengths to inflict pain. Learn more about sadism below.

What is Sadism?

Sadism uses cruelty and infliction of pain, suffering, and humiliation to derive pleasure. Sigmund Freud theorized that the sadistic urge came from the death instinct of human beings, defined as self-destructive behavior that later turned into aggression. People who practice sadism are called sadists.

Sexual sadism is a more specific type of sadism. A sexual sadist inflicts psychological or physical suffering through terror, pain, or humiliation to induce excitement. It is considered a sexual sadism disorder if the sadist performs these activities without respecting their partner’s boundaries by violating their consent, causing immense distress, and inflicting severe functional impairment. 

Etymology of Sadism

The word “sadism” is derived from the French word sadisme, which came from Marquis de Sade. Marquis de Sade gained popularity from his libertine publications on the pleasure he received from causing pain to others. The term was first officially acknowledged in 1834 in a reprint of Boiste’s Dictionnare universel de la langue française. The word was picked up in 1862 by Saint-Beuve, a French critic who published a commentary on Salammbô by Flaubert. Lastly, the term was further popularized and established in 1886 by Krafft-Ebing, an Austrian psychiatrist who wrote Psychopathia Sexualis. Freud’s usage of the term in Three Essays on the Theory of Sexually further cemented the word into society’s vocabulary and ultimately popularized it.

History

Sadism was initially used in the context of mental illness or disorder. It wasn’t until 1920 that it became a standard term and was detached from its psychiatric origin. During the Second World War, sadism can be seen in regular activities: parents over their children, teachers over their students, and even bosses in their workplaces. Dr. Robert Dillespie stated in a report in 1937 that sadism is more widespread than we perceive. 

The public perception of sadism varied per generation. Krafft-Ebing’s Pyschopathia Sexualis, published in 1894, aimed to dispel the public’s panic regarding the Whitechapel murders. Numerous court cases applied the term “sadist” to criminals convicted of rape, public indecency, and homosexuality. In the 1910s, sadism was redefined as an “eloquent and powerful brief for the cause of eugenics.” During the World War era, sadism was about its normalcy among humans. By 1946, the editor of The Yorkshire Post and Leeds Mercury questioned why the topic of sadism was calmly accepted and discussed in various households. The editor concluded that families and young women must be wary of casual acquaintances since sadists look, act, and talk like ordinary people. By the end of the Second World War, the general public perceived sadists as white men who were middle-class members. 

Today, there is a general understanding that everyday sadists walk among us. Sadistic tendencies are more common than we think since they are no longer exclusively linked to criminal or sexual acts. There are different types of sadists, which include explosive sadists, tyrannical sadists, enforcing sadists, and spineless sadists.

4 Types of Sadism

According to American psychiatrist Theodore Millon, there are four main types of sadism:

• Explosive Sadism

Explosive sadism is the practice of seeking revenge for the sadist’s feeling of mistreatment. Usually, it can happen when an explosive sadist feels frustrated, humiliated, hopeless, and disappointed with their life. As a result, this type of sadism is manifested through attacks on other people, particularly family members. In addition, also displayed through uncontrollable rage and violent tantrums.

• Tyrannical Sadism

Tyrannical sadism involves brutalizing others and causing menace. The sadist is cruel and frightening; s/he gains satisfaction from forcing their victims into complete submission.

• Enforcing Sadism

This type of sadism is often seen among people in positions of power. These include deans of universities, prison guards, military sergeants, or police officers. The sadist feels pleasure from punishing and controlling people who have broken the rules, laws, or regulations. In the context of BDSM, this kind of Sadism is often used in roleplays. 

• Spineless Sadism

Spineless sadists, as the name suggests, are weak individuals. Generally, they recoil, have deep insecurities, and always anticipate real danger, so they live out their hostile fantasies and make the first move. In addition, they use their aggression to signal that they aren’t scared or intimidated but in a cowardly manner.  Spineless sadists use these dominant facades to buy more time to compose themselves and control their emotions and seek victims they can gang upon. Spineless sadists are in-denial of their personal issues, which are the same things they target in other people. For example, closeted gays may display homophobic tendencies. 

Sadism in Bed

Sexual sadism is the consensual application of sadism in bed. It is not just about mindlessly inflicting pain on your partner but the attainment of pleasure from watching your partner suffer. Partners display complete emotional, psychological, physical, and sexual domination over one another. 

Sadistic acts in bed include humiliation and tolerable physical harm. Anything beyond that that compromises your partner’s safety and well-being should not be performed. It is very important that the two of you have consented in advance to all the sadistic activities you have prepared. 

How to Practise Sadism in Bed

You need to know that sadism doesn’t have to be kinky or purely physical. Mental state matters to become enjoyable for all parties involved. Here is a simple guide on how to get started.

• Identify the “top” and “bottom.”

In the sadistic world, the “top” is referred to as the dominant partner. They are the ones who perform whipping, clamping, spanking, bondage, and other forms of displays of dominance or suffering. The “bottom” is the one who is the recipient of these activities. They are the submissive ones in the couple and that’s why it’s essential to define those roles upfront as well as clear boundaries. Open, honest and trustworthy communication is critical and puts the two of you in the proper mental state before diving into sadistic activities.

• Establish a safe word

Sadism and masochism leave a lot of room for exploration. However, you or your partner may want to slow down or take a break, especially if your sexual activities move towards uncharted territories. A safeword puts an immediate stop to the session. You may come up with two safe words – one to indicate that you are close to your limits and another to signal a complete stop. When the safe word is used, take a break, or move in a different direction.

• Learn about your tools

There is a wide array of sex toys and tools to inflict pain or suffering on your partner. These include vibrators, spanking paddles, riding crops, blindfolds, and ball gags. It is best to review the most popular sadistic sex toys and pick the ones you prefer. After purchasing, know the proper usage of these toys and tools. Failure to fully understand how to use them may result in severe pain. For example, practice using a riding crop to avoid hitting too hard to the point of wounding or injuring your partner. E.g., try any spanking tool easily by hitting your own palm, so you get an impression of the strength and the feeling of the impact. By the way, during your game, you can always consult with your partner if you can take it up a notch. 

• Baby steps

If you are a beginner, there is no need to rush to the nearest sex shop and buy an entire arsenal. Start with light activities such as spanking or bondage. If you like it, then feel free to purchase sex toys in that range. 

• Keep safety supplies nearby

Sadism sessions can be extreme and may take an unexpected turn. Be ready for anything and keep safety supplies nearby. Prepare bandages for potential wounds, soft rags for painful areas, shears to cut through bondage, and the keys to the locks you will use. Additionally, be aware of the medical conditions your partner may have so that you can adjust the session in consideration of their safety.

• Practice healthy aftercare

Sessions practicing Sadism can be physically and emotionally draining, so sexual aftercare must be upheld. This may include cuddling, discussion, and cleaning. These will help establish a sense of calm and safety. Aftercare is an essential part of the BDSM culture; it is conducted after each session, allowing both parties to understand each other and each other’s needs much better. As well as preparing the stage for the next adventure. And this separates a Sadist explicitly in the BDSM context from a “real world sadist”; the sadist in BDSM cares for its submissive, “real world sadists” give a damn about the people they hurt.

• Take it easy

As aforementioned, the mental state going into sexual sadism is very important. It is not advisable to try it out when you are feeling stressed, overwhelmed, or self-conscious. It is best to partake in it when you are in a good mental state. 

Techniques To Try

Impact play

This includes flogging or spanking using hands, paddles, whips, or riding crops. This is usually performed on the partner’s bottom to increase the blood flow in the groin area. This stimulates the production of endorphins and dopamine for enhanced sexual sensation.

Sensory deprivation

Bondage is popularly used in sadism. You may perform modifications such as tightening the cuffs to increase the pain. Bondage empowers a sadist by portraying the partner in a restrained, submissive position. It is also arousing to watch the tied-up person struggle against the restraints. Other sensory deprivation tools include ball gags, blindfolds, bondage tape, bondage ties, spreader bars, and rope. For more ideas, click here for a related article.

Clamping

Clamps are used for pinching sensations, particularly on the nipples and other sensitive body parts. 

Temperature play

Use hot or cold items to make your partner squirm in discomfort. These may include ice cubes, stimulant gels, or hot wax.

Cock-and-ball torture (CBT)

CBT is also known as dick torture, penis torture, or male genitorture. This sexual activity involves applying constriction or pain to the penis or testicles. Activities include wax play, genital piercing, ball-busting, genital flogging, erotic electro-stimulation, kicking, kneeing, urethral play, tickling, squeezing, and spanking.

Verbal humiliation

This involves using words to humiliate the submissive and inflict emotional and psychological pain verbally. Here are some examples:

• Animal play – the submissive is referred to as a pet, such as a dog, and made to drink out of bowls or eat pet food
• Objectification – the submissive is referred to as a thing and called “it” or a mere “hole”
• Belittlement – involves the use of terms such as girl, pet, missy, and boy
• Verbal abuse – calling the recipient fat, ugly, stupid, worthless, etc.
• Degradation – referring to the submissive as slut, cunt, bitch, or whore
• Requiring the submissive to ask for permission for every little thing 

Physical humiliation

Physical humiliation triggers the same brain responsible for pain.

Some examples include:

• Spitting, urinating, or ejaculating on the recipient’s body or face
• Servitude
• “Forced” sexual activities such as cunnilingus, fellatio, anilingus, anal sex, and the use of sex toys
• Micromanagement 
• Body worship
• Imposition of strict dress code
• Orgasm denial
• Facesitting
• Cuckolding

You can try all those activities in your private or rented sex room, called as well BDSM dungeon; for more information, click here.

Sadists Vs. Masochists: What is the Difference?

Sadism and masochism are commonly mistaken as interchangeable terms because the two refer to the enjoyment of pain. However, there are fundamental differences. Sadism refers to the derivation of pleasure from inflicting pain on another person. Masochism, on the other hand, is the enjoyment of receiving pain from someone else. 

Final Thoughts

Sadism is an exciting concept to spice up your sex life. There are countless ways to inflict sadist tendencies in bed, which may unlock heights of pleasure like never before. Just remember to take it slow and be open to possibilities. Additionally, only perform sadistic activities with a consenting partner and openly communicate about all aspects of your sadistic activities to establish clear boundaries. For more information and studies about how sadism develops, see our related article.

We hope this blog has provided you with insight into the world of sadism and its practices. If you have any questions about sadism, don’t hesitate to shoot us a message or comment below.