BDSM Master/slave Contract – How To Start To Create One

A BDSM relationship should allow both partners to explore their sexual desires in a safe space. But it can be easy to accidentally overstep the boundaries, forcing your partner to do something that makes them feel uncomfortable. To avoid this, I recommend you create a BDSM contract with your partner.

Table of Contents

Here are the essential things to specify in your BDSM contract:

Types of kink play you want to engage in and how comfortable you are with each kink

Safe words

Punishments the Master can deliver

What safety or hard/soft limits are in place? For example, can a Master leave a bruise?

This document will set the groundwork for your future BDSM play. But what elements should you include, and how can you ensure the contract satisfies both of you? Keep reading to learn the answer to these questions and find out how to tailor-make your Master/slave BDSM contract.

What Is a BDSM Contract?

Generally, a BDSM contract lays out the boundaries of your BDSM relationship. It states what activities you wish to perform and which are expressly forbidden, ensuring that both partners understand these limits.

However, if you wish, a BDSM contract can go into other parts of the relationship. For example, break down who is responsible for certain chores. For example, a slave might be responsible for providing a clean home environment for their Master. At the same time, a Master might be required to listen to the needs of their slave, taking into account their emotions before making a decision.

Why Is a BDSM Contract Needed?

Without a BDSM contract, it can be easy for the lines to become blurred within the bedroom. For example, a Master might engage in play that makes the slave feel uncomfortable. Being forced into these unpleasant situations can negatively impact your mental health.

However, it can also go the other way. The lack of boundaries can cause a Master to hold themselves back, afraid of pushing their slave too far. Because of this, a strong BDSM contract will allow both the Master and the slave to have a better time during their BDSM plays and in their BDSM relationship.

What Should Be Included in Your BDSM Contract?

Here are some of the elements that you should include in your BDSM contract, these are:

Rights of the Master. This section describes what privileges the Master will receive. For example, you might want to set out the situations when the Master can control their slave.
Responsibilities of the Master. There are some things that the Master must do to ensure that their slave is kept safe during BDSM. For example, you can state that they must ensure their slave is properly trained before undertaking any potentially dangerous BDSM activity.
When BDSM play can occur. You can include certain times when you will be available to engage in BDSM play. Or you can set areas where kink play is banned, like the workplace.
How the slave should behave. For example, you might want to specify that the slave cannot touch the Dominant during a scene unless they are expressly given permission. You can also add rules for how they should act in public.
Responsibilities of the slave. You can place rules that govern how the slave should act. For example, you might want to stipulate that the slave will be willing to follow the orders that the Master provides.
Areas of control. This is one of the essential parts of the contract. This is where you can decide what aspects of your life the Master will have exclusive control over. This extends beyond the bedroom. For example, allow them to control the way you look, the type of food you eat, or where you are allowed to travel. If you decide to include these areas, make sure that the control is both consensual and practical.
Slave veto details. You can lay out when you want to have the right to override a Master’s command. For example, a slave might not wish to follow an order if they think it could damage their professional career or personal relationships.
Terms of exclusivity. This lets you get specific about what is allowed in your wider relationship. For example, is your Master allowed to have multiple slaves?
Safe words. BDSM play can make people uncomfortable, so you must have safe words that you both respect. You can set up two safe words. One is to slow the play down, forcing the Master to check in and ensure the slave is comfortable before continuing—another to stop it entirely. You should also include hand or eye signals if you are gagged and can’t say the safe word.
Safety rules. You should explicitly state how far your Master is allowed to go. For example, are they able to leave a light bruise or welt? Are they allowed to cut and break the skin?
How to refer to each other. Some couples have pet names for each other; others use “Master, Sir, or Mistress”; you can also dictate when these terms can be used.
Punishment. In this section, you can detail when the Master is allowed to punish the slave. If applicable, you must describe the types of punishments that the slave will consent to.
Whether you want to switch. Some people like to switch in the bedroom. This refers to someone who likes to be both submissive and Dominant, depending on the type of scene being played out. This article goes into more detail about what a switch is and how switching works.
Detailing types of play and setting limits. This section is vital; it allows you to list the type of BDSM play you want to engage in. You will also need to dictate how comfortable you feel about each kind of play. In some cases, you might want to play without any limits. However, in areas that you aren’t confident about, you can set protocols, like requiring the Master to check in with you during play or requiring a discussion about what you want to do before play begins. Another option is to ask the submissive to rank each type of play out of five to indicate how comfortable they are.

Aftercare. It’s essential to set limits between the BDSM play and the rest of your relationship, particularly after a heavy scene. This allows you to process the emotions of the scene. Or you might want to light a scented candle to help them calm down; find some lovely candles, also great for temperature play, in our BDSMfreedom Etsy shop here. This article goes into more depth about how to recover from subdrop.
Signature. Both Master and slave will be required to sign at the bottom of the contract. This shows you have read, understood, and agreed to the terms.
Date to update the contract. Over time, your BDSM needs will change. Therefore, it’s a good idea to set a date a few weeks in advance to review the contract and make any necessary adjustments. This ensures that you are always getting the most enjoyment from your BDSM experience.

This is just a guide. You might only need some of these sections or want to add more details. Though it’s vital to make sure that you dictate the type of BDSM play you are comfortable with, the limits you have, and list safe words and what they mean. Or you might want to add more sections. Finally, change the contract to suit your relationship.

You should go into as much detail as possible during this process. For example, outline each type of BDSM play you plan to engage in and set limits for each. This eliminates potential confusion and ensures you are clear on what is expected.

Creating A Scene Contract

The above list covers a lot of detail and is designed for those in a long-term relationship. Another option is to create a contract that covers a specific scene. This is most common when attending a BDSM party or inviting another person into the bedroom. Here are some of the things that this contract should cover:

BDSM kinks. Create a list of the kinks you intend to explore during the scene. Get detail on how people feel about each one and what limits will be in place.
Safe words or safe signals. Set one to slow down the scene and the other to stop it completely.
Level of BDSM experience. This can give the Master a better idea of how hard they can go.
Terms used. How does everyone want to be referred to?

As always, discussing with each participant before you begin playing is best.

How To Create A BDSM Contract?

Here are some of the things to keep in mind when creating your BDSM contract:

Communication is key. This is vital. You will need to make sure that you are open and honest with your partner. If you aren’t comfortable with an area, tell them. Talking about each aspect of the contract will ensure that you are both on the same page. If you are new to the world of BDSM, it can be a little intimidating to have this conversation.
Avoid pressure. Each person should be able to set their limits when writing the contract. If one partner is uncomfortable about a type of play and wants to avoid it, accept the decision. BDSM play should always be consensual.
Adjust the contract over time. You should be able to amend the contract as your needs change. For example, you can grow more confident with a type of play and decide to remove the limits. Or you might add new types of play to the contract.
Use headings. You must ensure that your contract is easy to read, so you can easily refer back to it to find what’s expected of you.
Write in a way you understand. While writing a contract, you don’t need to use complex legal jargon. Instead, write in a style that both of you can understand.
Take your time. There’s no need to rush the contract. It’s best to take a weekend to lay everything down. Remember, while creating a document, it’s also a chance to discuss the type of kink play you are comfortable with and ensure that your partner is on the same page.
Be open to feedback. A BDSM contract will stipulate the type of actions that are allowed. But it’s still up to each participant to explore their sexual desires and find a way of altering the play to suit their desires. For example, a contract might state that a slave is open to whipping. But it’s up to the Master to explore which parts of the body to whip to bring the most pleasure or pain. It’s a good idea to have some time to debrief after each scene, allowing you to improve the experience in the future.

Who Writes A BDSM Contract?

This will depend on your relationship. Sometimes, the Dominant might write the contract, give it to the submissive and get them to edit it. Often, though, it’s best to work together. This ensures that you end up with something that works for both of you.

Is A BDSM Contract Legally Binding?

A BDSM contract might look like an official document. But it’s not intended to be a legal document. It certainly doesn’t override any existing laws. It’s just designed to ensure that you and your partner are on the same page in the bedroom and that you know the limits of your BDSM play.

It’s important to note that a BDSM contract doesn’t prevent you from leaving a relationship. It also doesn’t give the Master the ability to abuse a slave unless they expressly consent to that behavior. Remember, even if you have consented to an action in the contract, you can use your safe words to pause the scene if you start to feel uncomfortable.

Final Thoughts

Writing a BDSM contract will set the groundwork for a thriving relationship. It lets you talk about your kinks with your partner and specify which ones you are open to exploring and which are off the table. Most importantly, though, it ensures that there is always consent within the relationship.

This is just the beginning of your exploration of the world of BDSM. Once you have the contract, you can get into the bedroom and start playing around, exposing your slave to the range of pleasure and pain they agreed to.