How To Have A Great BDSM Long-Distance Relationship

In general, a long-distance relationship can be challenging. And if it comes to a BDSM long-distance relationship, it is especially true. Most BDSM kinks will require the participation of a partner. But, of course, if your lover is thousands of miles away, this can create some issues. 

But that doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy the pain and pleasure of BDSM. You just need to get creative about how you do it. So, how can you maintain a long-distance BDSM relationship and make it great? It’s best to schedule regular phone and video sessions where you can explore your BDSM fantasies and role-play together. Sending sexy texts or videos can help keep your partner interested. You can also incorporate toys that can be controlled remotely.  

Many technological tools allow you to maintain a long-distance relationship. This includes those that will enable you to enjoy having kinky sex. Keep reading to learn how to keep your BDSM play fresh and exciting, even over a long distance. 

Long-Distance BDSM Play Ideas To Explore

There is a range of ways that you can explore your kinkier side with your partner from a distance. Here are some of the techniques you might want to consider. 

Phone Sex

One of the most common ways of enjoying your long-distance relationship is through phone sex. This will rely on your ability to dirty talk, and it’s a bit like being blindfolded because you eliminate the visual sense. Here are some tips you can use to improve your phone sex skill:

• Start by building anticipation. Over time, you will know what turns your partner on. By delaying these aspects, you can build their anticipation up and get them even more excited. 
• Tell them what you are doing. Describe how you are playing with yourself. You can also moan in pleasure or scream in pain. 
• Describe an erotic story. You might want to read a piece of erotica that you found online. Or you can relive a sexual experience you had in the past. You can tell them about a kinky BDSM scene you saw on a porn site and ask them about trying it out in the future. 
• Be specific. In your story, your partner might be penetrating you. Describe how it feels. Are you taking your clothes off? Talk about how your body looks and how nice it is to touch. 
• Get them involved. Phone sex should be a conversation. Tell your partner what to do and listen to their response. This is an excellent way of incorporating role-play into your BDSM scene.  

Learning how to talk dirty to your partner is an art form. It will often take a few conversations for you to master this aspect. However, at the end of the phone call, it’s best to have a chat and give each other feedback so that you can create an even better session next time. 

Video Calls

If you want to take your phone sex to the next level, you can set up a video call. In this case, you can physically see your partner reacting to your dirty talk. It’s a good idea to incorporate some toys into the experience. As we’ll discuss later, there are some that you can be used remotely, giving you control over your partner’s sexual experience. 

Send Them Sexy Texts

It’s a great idea to send some sexy text messages throughout the day. This is a good way of showing how much you think about them and that you can’t wait for your next session. 

You might also want to send them pictures during the day. This can be a softcore image to tease them. Or you might like to send a hardcore image of you bound up, awaiting your master to come and use you. 

Orgasm Denial

One of the best BDSM plays is orgasm denial. In this case, the dominant partner will have control over when and if the submissive one is allowed the pleasure of an orgasm. The longer you keep them waiting, the more intense their desires will become. 

There are a few ways that you can incorporate this play over a long distance; these ideas include: 

• Stopping the pleasure. You might deny your partner to have an orgasm for a few days or weeks. 
• Use a chastity cage or belt. This ensures that they are physically unable to masturbate until you allow them to free themselves from the cage or chastity belt. Sounds interesting; find some more details in our article, Female chastity – Explore It Now. (Below are some examples to buy from Amazon)
  
• Adding a punishment. Sometimes the submissive is too weak to wait until the Dominant grants their permission to orgasm. In this case, you can set up a punishment for disobeying. 
• Controlling sex toy use. You can use sex toys in orgasm denial play. In this case, you will need to control how long your submissive partner can use their toy. Another option is to control what type of settings they can use or how intense the toy can become. This is ideal when you have an interactive toy that can be controlled remotely. 

Giving Your Partner Tasks To Complete

Though you might not be in the same room, you can still control what your submissive is doing. You can still send them tasks and tell them that they have to be completed. For example, you might want them to go out in public while their vibrator is on. Or you might want them to give themselves a golden shower. They can send you a video or photo showing that they have complied with your will. 

One of the most exciting parts of this type of play is being able to reward your partner for their obedience. This can be the opportunity to play with a favorite toy. This can be combined with orgasm denial. If they are obedient, you might allow them to have an orgasm. 

Of course, if your partner doesn’t complete the tasks you set out, you can give them a punishment that they have to do. It’s best to discuss what type of punishments your partner is comfortable with beforehand. Even in Master/slave relationships, it’s essential to be consensual. If you are new to this type of BDSM play, check out this ultimate beginner guide to the Master/slave dynamic.  

Try Some Role Play

Role play is one of the most exciting aspects of BDSM. First, you can work with your partner to construct a scene that excites both of you. Then, you can work to bring this to life. There are a few things to keep in mind to create a stimulating session: 

• Use specific phrases in your dirty talk. Talking dirty can help you set the scene. The words you use can help you bring the vision to life. For example, you can inhabit a character during the role-play scene, using the phraseology that is associated with that profession. 
• Add costumes. Even though you can’t be there in person, you can still wear costumes while communicating through video chat. 
• Choose BDSM tasks depending on the scene. There is a vast range of BDSM activities to try. The right one will often depend on the type of scene you are acting out. For example, you might use bondage to restrain an unruly prisoner. On the other hand, if there is a rebellious student, you might want to use whips to bring them in line. 

By working together, you and your partner can create an immersive fantasy that allows you to bring all your dreams or nightmares to life. 

Tools To Make Long-Distance BDSM Play Easier

Phone sex and webcams can help you replicate the emotional connection that you and your partner share. But it won’t have the same physical connection. The good news is that there are a few toys you can use to create this experience; these include: 

• Remote-controlled love egg. This allows your partner to stimulate your G-spot and create a powerful orgasm. Importantly, though, this can be controlled remotely through an app that will enable you to have a video chat at the same time as your partner is stimulating you, or you can use it for solo play.
   
• Self-bondage gear. Many BDSM activities rely on a submissive person restricting their movements, so they need to obey the desires of their master. There is a range of self-bondage activities you can try at home. For example, you might want to use handcuffs, ropes, or chains to bind yourself in place.
• Prostate massager. If you have a male slave, you might want to consider the Sexy Slave Caden. This combines a prostate massager and a cock ring. Plus, you can discreetly hold the remote control in your hand while pleasuring yourself.
  
• G-Spot stimulator. The next toy to consider is a G-Spot stimulator. This can also be controlled remotely by your partner. Plus, it’s waterproof, so you don’t need to worry about squirting or piss play.
  
• Male masturbator. Being away from your partner can cause you to miss their touch, particularly in the bedroom. This male masturbator will have a range of rotating and thrusting modes, helping you experience immense pleasure as long as your Dom allows you to use it.
  
  

Of course, this is just the beginning of your options. There is a huge range of sex toys that you might want to explore. For example, you might want to try dildos for penetrative sex. At other times, you might want to use vibrating wands to stimulate yourself. Furthermore, many BDSM lovers enjoy the pain that can come from electric shock play. This guide to 10 Exciting Electroplay Devices will help you get started if this is the case. 

Tips For Long-Distance BDSM Sex

There are a few other tips to keep in mind to keep your BDSM sex relationship thriving, even though the long distances might be keeping you and your partner apart; these include: 

• Communication is key. This is vital in all long-distance relationships. But it’s especially important when you are in the world of BDSM. You will often need to speak clearly about what you want your partner to do in the bedroom. It’s also important to set boundaries over aspects you aren’t comfortable with. 
• Make time to be together. BDSM often works best over a video call, where the dominant partner can see the submissive struggling against their bounds and being forced to carry out their commands. Sometimes, time zones can make this difficult. Because of this, you might want to record videos instead. 
• Use a messaging app. It’s a good idea to consider using a messaging app in the bedroom. As we mentioned, some options will allow you to control your sex toys. You might also want to share links to porn videos of acts that you would love to try with your partner. 
• Send each other naughty gifts. Many people like to send occasion presents in a long-distance relationship. This is a way of showing your affection for the other person. So, why not send them a naughty sex toy you want to see them using? Or you can send them some polaroids of you performing kinky acts. You might even like to send dirty underwear or other used clothing items for your sub to humiliate themselves with.  

Most importantly, it can be easy to focus on the downsides of being apart from your partner. But this doesn’t have to be the case. Instead, you can use the distance to form a stronger relationship, creating more potent sexual chemistry when you come together. 

Final Thoughts

You don’t have to let the distance get in the way of your sexual relationship. There are plenty of BDSM techniques, like self-bondage or orgasm denial, that you can use to explore your kinks. This also helps you build trust with your partner, creating the bedrock of a strong relationship. 

If you are pursuing a long-term distance partnership, getting the right tools is vital. A remote-control love egg and G-spot stimulator are key. It can also help to have a male masturbator. Aside from toys, you just need a good webcam and an internet connection. When these items are paired with a creatively kinky mind, there’s no limit to the amount of pleasure or pain; you can summon.