Have you found your BDSM partner’s limits yet? Limits refer to activities that participants in a BDSM relationship may find prohibiting or strongly don’t want to participate in. A limit means something your partner doesn’t want to be done to them in a BDSM relationship. Limits go on a broad spectrum, including people your partner doesn’t enjoy sexual pleasure with, tools of punishment, or even places and ways of performing a play scene.
What are BDSM limits?
BDSM limits may include hard and soft limits. Hard limits in BDSM target the things your partner finds off-limits and will not want to try. Soft limits have the “maybes” in a BDSM relationship. Although the other party may not want to perform them, they may consider doing them given certain conditions.
There exist many BDSM plays that you may involve in with your partner. Although one group of BDSM lovers may enjoy a particular playlist, another group may not.
For this reason, you should sit with your partner and agree on what plays you may love to play and what plays either of you might consider a limit. A Dom-sub contract serves a great deal in BDSM limits since you both write down what plays you consider as limits.
What are the 6 most Feared BDSM Hard Limits?
From a slavery perspective, your sub may come up with some plays that they consider entirely off-limits. This scenario means you should only try it on them once they change their perception of them as confidence builds up. We have made the following list of what many subs consider hard limits.
- Needle play
Needle play involves piercing the skin using needles in a BDSM scene. At these, your partner may prefer needles used on them, or you might want to pierce their skin to heighten the sexual atmosphere. In this scene, the needles get sterilized and used to go into the skin. The needles get used to create a piercing pattern for some people. It might sound painful, and most people will give this a hard limit category in their BDSM limit contract. For some people, needle play adds to their intimacy before penetration. But if your sub finds this a hard limit, give them time and don’t go into it until they later reconsider it and up for the harder stuff.
- The erotic electrostimulation
What is erotic electrostimulation or E-Stim in kinky plays? Erotic electrostimulation defines a kinky space in BDSM where the Dom applies electrical currents on the sub to create sexual stimulations. The electric currents start at low voltages with possible mild increases in some scenarios. This BDSM play targets applying these electrical currents to the genital areas. So, the Dom usually uses the electric current on the scrotum, clitoris, penis, or vagina.
Electrostimulation may also apply to other body parts like nipples and other sensational parts. As the nerve endings get stimulated, the people involved in the play get heightened sexual satisfaction. We classify this as a hard limit since most subs might fear having the electric currents applied to them. So, let it not surprise you that your partner won’t want to participate in this kind of play even as you crave to have your hands on those electrifiers sending shivers down their most sensitive parts. Sir M and slave L having a lot of fun with this E-Stim product.
- Race play as seen in BDSM porn
Have you seen racial imagery used in BDSM plays? This kinky play involves the Dom or sub playing dominant and slavery depending on their racial status. For instance, people of color play subs and take punishment from those of Jewish origin.
Also, research shows that most white people get involved in BDSM relationships. So, if the couple involves a white and a colored individual, it might signify the whites oppressing the people of color erotically. Most people don’t want to participate in this kinky play since it causes feelings of erotic oppression from a racist perspective.
So, it might be true to categorize race play to a hard limit depending on the controversial debate surrounding this kinky play.
- Age play
Age play will involve one partner assuming a younger age. Often, the submissive assumes a child’s age and gets punished by the older Dom. The plays pleasure the Dom, who assumes to be dealing with a child. For this kinky play, the Doms get pleasure in finding the subs helpless and vulnerable, just like a child.
Although it proves a primary BDSM practice, let it not surprise you that your partner finds it beyond the limits. They won’t tolerate participating in this play, and it’s given the hard limit category. This categorization might be due to the controversial association of age play with encouraging pedophilia tendencies.
- Ash Rubbing in BDSM play
This play involves Dom slicing parts of the sub’s body with a sharp object like a knife. The Dom proceeds to rub ash into the wound to mimic a scar. Also, they may do so to enhance the coloring of the scar after it heals.
Since this scene involves body cutting and blood, most people don’t want to engage in this play. This body modification might be a no go zone with your partner when considering kinky plays to include in your BDSM list.
- Autoassassinophilia in BDSM
Did you know that the thought of your partner causing risky activities that may end up killing you causes sexual arousal in some people? Autoassassinophilia defines the arousal from the fear of the Dom causing death to the sub. Most subs don’t want to get involved in such activities that might make them fear for their lives in the hands of their partner. Although the thought of your partner killing you might be arousing; it’s feared that this might drive most sexually driven psychopaths. So, due to the controversial aspect of this kinky play, most subs might prefer to have it as a hard limit.
4 Most Practiced Soft limits in BDSM
Soft limits will involve those activities or plays your partner may not want, but they might consider trying them in given situations. Some of the soft limits you might face in your BDSM encounter include the following.
- Temperature play
As most people get thrilled by temperature play, others wish to stay away from them. In temperature play, the Dom may use things like candles to pour hot candle wax on their partners. Other forms of temperature play may also be adopted where hot or cold objects get used on the sub’s body. As the things inflict pain as the temperatures change, it produces sexual arousal.
Most subs may consider temperature play a soft limit, especially if they don’t enjoy indulging in such. Although they may consider performing these kinds of kinky plays if their partners find them pleasurable since trying new things proves a kinky part of BDSM altogether.
- Extreme bondage plays
Bondage play involves restraining mechanisms to get the sub under challenging positions they can’t free themselves from. Doms find these arousing since they gain control over what they decide to do with their subs as they explore them more. Bondage heightens sexual arousal as the Dom penetrates the sub in such positions.
Most subs may categorize extreme bondage plays like suspension as soft limits. If the sub has joint or muscle conditions, they will prefer having such bondage activities with experienced BDSM gurus. So as much as they won’t want to indulge in them, they may consider trying if specific measures get met.
- Breast torture
Most female subs will categorize nipple and breast torture as soft limits. Most women love their breasts beautiful, and the thought of someone bruising, tying, or beating them goes more into the no-go zone. Although they may not want this, some women may try breast bondage and torture with careful consideration.
Primarily the breasts receive moderate torture that doesn’t cause permanent marks due to bruising. Often, breast torture may apply as a punishment or funishment but with careful torture techniques.
- Breath play
Most people enjoy incorporating breath play in their BDSM plays. Breath play involves various ways and activities that target limiting airflow to cause sexual pleasure. Extreme types of breath play may often get classified as Autoassassinophilia, which lies in the hard limits.
So, it takes much trust for a sub to agree to breath-play since it might prove life-threatening if not performed right. So, it will not be surprising that your sub doesn’t like breath play but might consider it if specific measures get met.
Related Questions
What does a BDSM limit contract mean?
The BDSM contract aims at getting all the BDSM plays that the BDSM partners consider appropriate/acceptable, soft limits, and hard limits in their BDSM relationship. This contract keeps both partners in a safe lane as they perform different kinky plays since they understand what their partners may or may not endure. While drafting the agreement, safety signs and words get developed to signal the Dom if they go to the extremities.
What is the BDSM test?
A BDSM test or Kink test refers to a mechanism whereby you learn which BDSM labels may/may not be suitable for you. This test helps beginners understand their BDSM play tolerance and plays a vital role in making the hard or soft BDSM limits.
Conclusion
In BDSM, you will find many plays and activities to indulge in with your partner. Although it may sound enticing to try on your partner, you must understand what they may or may not take. BDSM limits help you unravel the balance, and they help guide you to safe BDSM practices. If your partner classifies a particular kinky play as a hard limit, ensure you stay off that play. If it’s a soft limit, discuss it and agree on how to proceed. As the trust builds, maybe some hard limits slowly reach the soft limit category. Who knows, you might one day enjoy them more. It all starts with building trust in all BDSM plays.