Enter The World Of Homosexual BDSM Dating Now!


The BDSM movement is known for its inclusivity, welcoming people of all sexual attractions and gender identities. Because of this, there is a thriving LGBTIQ + movement within the BDSM community. Here are some tips to help you explore the diverse homosexual BDSM community.

Homosexual BDSM Dating
Homosexual BDSM Dating

There are plenty of LGBTIQ+ BDSM dating apps to explore. Feeld, FetLife, Recon, Headero, Fantasy, and #Open are the most prominent examples. You might also want to explore vanilla apps, like Grindr and Scruff, where the users might be open to kink play. 

Thanks to the diversity within the LGBTIQ+ dating scene, you will have plenty of great matches to explore. Keep reading to learn more about how to find a date and tips on finding the right person for you. 

What Makes Homosexual BDSM Dating Special? 

A few aspects make dating within the LGBTIQ+ community so unique. First, this is its popularity. Gay and lesbian BDSM dating has some of the highest search volumes, and many homosexual dating apps have substantial user bases. As a result, you will have plenty of apps to choose from, and you shouldn’t find it too difficult to find a match. 

The other thing to consider is that the BDSM community is very open-minded. Many apps will have a wide range of gender identities for you to choose from. Plus, many people are open to trying a homosexual experience in the bedroom, especially within an ethically non-monogamous relationship. In fact, within the BDSM community, 34 percent of people identified as bisexuals, while the rate amongst the general population is under three percent. 

What Are The Best Homosexual BDSM Dating Apps? 

There are plenty of BDSM apps that are specially designed for people within the LGBTIQ+ community; these include: 

  • Homosexual dating in BDSM
    Homosexual dating in BDSM

    FetLife. This is a social media-type app that helps you connect with other BDSM lovers from around the world. If you find someone whom you like, you can start private messaging. 

  • Recon. This app is similar to FetLife, helping you connect with a kinky community. However, it caters exclusively to gay men. 
  • Feeld. If you want to organize a threesome with an ethically non-monogamous couple, this is the ideal location for you. If you are interested in this kink, you might want to read The Threesome Handbook, which gives you tips on how to have a good experience. This app has a strong BDSM focus, with plenty of resources on its website to help you learn more about kink play. 
  • #Open. This is another site that helps you find ethically non-monogamous couples who are looking for a threesome. It is very LGTBIQ+-friendly, with the ability to choose from over 24 gender identities. 
  • Headero. This app is ideal for people who are into oral kinks. Interestingly, you will be able to search based on the type of interaction you want to have. For example, you can look for someone interested in a date or just want a flirty chat. 
  • Fantasy. This app is queer-friendly and supports ethical non-monogamy. Plus, you can choose from over 500 kinks to help you find someone who will embrace your sexual desires. 

Many other BDSM dating apps are suitable for those within the gay and lesbian community, especially if you are open to trying a threesome with an ethically non-monogamous couple.  

Can You Use Vanilla Apps For Homosexual BDSM Dating? 

There are plenty of other vanilla dating apps that you can explore; these include: 

  • Grindr. This is the most popular gay dating app globally, boasting over 11 million active monthly users. It’s trendy amongst people looking for quick sex. However, many people on this app are open to exploring kinkier sex. 
  • Scruff. The mechanics of this app are similar to Grindr and primarily target gay men. Unlike Grindr, though, it aims to cater to a broader range of body types who might find themselves rejected on Grindr. 
  • Tser. This dating app is designed to help trans, gender-fluid, and non-binary people connect. 
  • Her. This app will help lesbians connect using a Tinder-like swiping function. 

Whether a vanilla dating app will be suitable often depends on the type of kinks, you are interested in. Lighter fetishes, like handcuffs, will usually be accepted. But people might not be open to heavier kinks, like watersports or Master/slave relationships. 

You can use codewords to signal that you are looking for kinky sex. For example, you might want to say that you are looking for “someone to lead” or that you are “open.” Sometimes, your profile picture can also help communicate your desires. For example, you can pose with a whip slung over your shoulder. If you want more tips on how to stand out, check out this post about the differences between vanilla and BDSM dating

Of course, you can meet kinky people in a few other ways. For example, you might want to try visiting a local gay bar. You can also try a Pride event, where many people are unafraid to talk about their love for kinky sex. Furthermore, apps like FetLife help you find local BDSM meet-ups in your local area. This article has more information on finding a BDSM community

Tips To Start Homosexual BDSM Dating

The world of homosexual BDSM dating has never been more accessible. Here are some tips to help you start dating and exploring your kinks: 

  • Be honest about your kinks. It’s a good idea to be upfront about your kinks and fantasies. This ensures that you are both on the same page. This is especially important when using a vanilla dating app, where people might be unprepared for hardcore kink play. 
  • Watch porn or kinky movies together. Sometimes, you will be unsure how your partner will react to your BDSM desires. This is particularly common if you find them on a vanilla dating app. In this case, you might want to watch a kinky movie or porn together. This allows you to gauge their reaction to the fetish scenes subtly and gives you a helpful conversation starter. An excellent source for lesbian and gay BDSM videos is kink.com.
  • Set your limits. Before you begin kink play, it’s vital to gain consent. Discuss what you like and set your hard and soft limits. It’s also a good idea to have a safe word and a phrase to let your partner know if you are starting to feel uncomfortable and want to slow down.
Homosexual BDSM Dating
Homosexual BDSM Dating

It might also be good to start with some essential kinky sex toys. For example, you can use this interesting golden anal plug. Then, once you are comfortable with each other, you can move on to more extreme fetish scenes. 

  • Debrief. After the scene, you must talk about what happened and how it made you feel. This allows you to get to know your partner’s desires on a deeper level, so you can start having a more enjoyable sexual experience. 

As you grow to know your partner on a deeper level, you’ll be able to start exploring your kinkier desires in more depth and bringing your fantasies to life. 

Final Thoughts

The world of LGBTIQ+ BDSM dating is thriving and getting more exciting each day. As a result, gay or lesbian dating can be a hugely rewarding experience. With any luck, you will be able to find someone with whom you can form an emotional connection and have you screaming with pleasure in the bedroom. 

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