Ensure a Safe Breath Play

Breath play, also known as Erotic Asphyxia, is quite a popular act that you will come across while following a BDSM lifestyle. It is where you intentionally cut off the supply of air to your partner to choke or suffocate them. Even though breath play can take your experience to the next level, it is essential to be aware of its risks. Then you can get the most out-of-breath play and end up with more intense orgasms. During our sex games, Sir M and Slave L integrate it regularly.; continue to read, and we will share how you can safely engage with breath play.

As a general rule, you should never rush into an activity like breath play. Instead, you will need to take your time to communicate with your partner seriously about what will happen, where the limits are, and what are the “safewords” or “safesigns.” If you use ropes, belts, or ribbons, be sure to have an emergency scissors (from the first-aid kit), so everything is in reach if you need to react quickly. Also, be prepared for the worst scenario; if your partner passes out, know and review your first-aid steps.

Let’s find out together what this all could look like.

Communication is King

As with all things in BDSM, breath play should be based on a safe, sane, and consensual approach. As a result, it’s mandatory to communicate before and during the play with each other, which could be sometimes difficult if your partner is gagged or has no more air to speak up loudly. Therefore, it is essential to first talk about how you want to play and what the limits are. Be very open about your thoughts and fears and very clear on the procedures, especially how to end the breath play by using a “safeword” or “safesign.” If you plan to gag your partner or they won’t be able to speak because you want to go close to the limits, a “safe sign” instead of the usual “safeword” is very important.

Think about what the choked one can still do to signal that they have reached the limit or is close to being there. Also, here you could agree on two different signs, not to stop the game completely cold, but to have a graduation, where the dominant part would have the chance to adjust and slow down before the choked one reaches their final limit. “Safesigns” could be as easy as snapping fingers, tapping the partner three times, or blinking three times very quickly with the eyes or let them hold a small bell in their hand. They should be unmistakable like “safewords,” especially if the breath play is embedded in sex games and combined with other BDSM elements like bondage.

Not all formerly mentioned techniques will work well if you plan to mouth-gag and blindfold your partner. In this case, you could give the choked one something in their hands which they could drop as an apparent “safesign”; this technique has an additional safety level because if you go too far and the suffocated partner faints, the object falls “automatically” down, while the hand relaxes and comes open.

This works best if the partner is in an upright position but is not reliable if laying. Suppose the arms are restrained but still visible; in this case, the hands could work as a signaling tool, e.g., by the partner opening and closing their hands quickly. Also, doing this only with one hand could indicate that the choked one is coming close to the limit while doing it with both hands clearly indicates a desire to end the game suddenly.
Besides this, as the dominant part, it’s your responsibility always to keep an eye on the submissive part and regularly ask for verbal or non-verbal feedback to stay on the safe side. For more ideas on how you can play with the breath continue to this article.

Safety During the Breath Play

After getting the most crucial part: communication done, it’s time to try it. But two more points before you start, firstly have your cellphone (charged) or landline phone available, so if something goes totally wrong, you can immediately call for help (see next paragraph: Emergency Situation). Secondly, make sure that you don’t use any alcohol or drugs before or during breath play to keep things under control.
Now, if you are new to breath play, don’t start your adventure with any kind of other tools, like a ribbon or rope; go ahead with your bare hands first. Also, due to the risky nature of this type of play, we would recommend giving it a kind of dry run to begin with, which means without any other sexual engagement during your first experiences with choking and suffocating. You can then start to take things forward from there.

For example, choke your partner while you are both sitting relaxed in a chair or on the couch, and find out what pressure “is good” and how long they can withstand it. Figure out the correct way to place your hands and find out how much pressure is necessary. The arteries that you can find around the neck are designed to absorb some pressure. Work with the “safesigns” (e.g., the tapping) as discussed above to get used to them and gradually increase the intensity and strength. This allows both partners to understand their limits and boundaries better. Please do not forget to communicate and speak about the feelings and experiences and how strongly it was received.

Getting Into It

After becoming more familiar with this kind of kink, introduce it into your sex games and feel the full benefit of the released endorphins and hormones, which could also bring more intense orgasms. The dominant partner must always keep an additional eye on the choked one and never, ever leaves them alone (e.g., with a tight collar around their neck). Supervise their face; is it becoming paler, or are the lips getting blue-purple? You are in charge; maybe the choked one is already passing out and cannot say the “safeword” or show the “safesign.” You better stop this kind of game earlier than too late.

Suppose you are more advanced and ready to use some objects (rope, ties, belts, collars, …) to choke your partner, be very, very careful. Objects can work much more efficiently than your hands but have the disadvantage that they cannot quickly be released like your hands. Ropes probably need to be untied, and belts must go even tighter to unbuckle. Think about the dissolving process first, and always have emergency scissors close to you.

Emergency Situation

If you follow all the recommendations, your breath play comes with manageable risks. We have practiced it for a long time and never had an issue. Nevertheless, it’s essential to know what to do if your partner passes out. Firstly, don’t panic and try to stay calm! When you see the first signs that the choked one faints, immediately release your hands or the object you are using for the choking; if necessary, use the emergency scissors without further notice. If they are gagged, remove everything from the mouth area. Call the emergency number and follow the steps you have learned during your first-aid training. Never ever delay calling emergency support in such a situation; every second lost could result in serious injuries or even death for your partner!

We hope the last section does not scare you off totally, but if you take all of the above into account and communicate well before and during your breath play, this adventure is undoubtedly worth a try!

Continue to the article BDSM dungeon to learn more about the designated place, where you can play with your BDSM partner.

Sir M, April 2022