Collaring Ceremony – Your Complete Guide To An Unforgettable Event 

Maybe you want to upgrade your D/s relationship, and the time for a collaring ceremony has finally arrived. Or you might be thinking of committing to your partner but in a not-so-vanilla way. Well, a BDSM ceremony could be the answer to your worries.

The significance of a collaring ceremony in BDSM is equivalent to the importance vanilla people assign to weddings. However, the customs may vary considerably. Instead of a wedding ring, a collar is granted by the Dom to their sub as a sign of commitment between the two. Unlike a traditional wedding, the ceremony could be polyamorous, where a Dom could collar several subs or a sub could commit to more than one Dom.

Like all things in the BDSM world, a collaring ceremony is unique and unconventional and depends mostly on how the people in question choose to conduct it. The purpose of this article is to inform people about the many things they must know to conduct a collaring ceremony. 

How To Have A Collaring Ceremony?

How you choose to have your collaring ceremony and what it means for your BDSM relationship depends entirely upon you. 

Wearing a collar in the BDSM world is a sign of commitment, but the narrative can vary from couple to couple. Even single submissives can wear a collar to express themselves or show that they are self-owned.

There are three main stages of development in a D/s relationship, which are signified by different collars. These are:

• Collars of consideration; to show that the Dom is considering a relationship with the sub
• Training collars illustrate a slave under training
• Permanent collars are given to a sub by their Dom in an official collaring ceremony and certify the Dom’s ownership of the slave

Alternatively, they can be worn to make partners feel special without real commitment. Some other collars include protection collars for protection against other Doms or worn during roleplay. If you want to learn more about the different kinds of collars, check out our article BDSM Collars – All You Need To Know.

• The Basics

There is no denying that a collaring ceremony has a special place in the BDSM world. Whether you want it to be a private event with your partner or to celebrate it as a heartfelt event with your friends and family, you want to ensure everything is planned out.  

Following are a few basic elements of a BDSM ceremony you’ll want to keep in mind if you want it to be conducted properly.

• Vows

Vows are the pledge the Dom and sub take to commit to one another. The Dom promises to protect and take ownership of the sub, while the slave vows to serve and obey them. 

Each BDSM couple has its own way of taking their vows. Some like to deliver a well-constructed speech, including quotations from the bible and vows of the Dom and sub. Some want to say their vows spontaneously, more casually, expressing their emotion towards their partner without any preparation beforehand.

It is up to you and your partner to decide how you’ll be taking your vows. However, do remember that vows aren’t merely words. They are a lifelong commitment to one another and essential for the couple in the collaring ceremony. 

This is why many people choose to write them down in the form of a contract, which the Dom and sub sign. You don’t need to sign a contract, but it is generally recommended due to the BDSM lifestyle, and it also increases the strength of your bond.

• Officiant

Even though you might want to conduct your collaring ceremony by yourself, it is good to have a helping hand nearby. This calls for an officiant, the person who will act as the host of your BDSM ceremony and help you in conducting your rituals and vows.

The officiant needs to be a trustworthy and sympathetic person with whom you have a good understanding, probably a good friend or someone you know from the BDSM world. They should also be responsible, someone you know you can rely on since they’ll be responsible for handling your ceremony’s affairs and determining how it will proceed.

Communicate freely what you want from them and how you expect them to conduct your collaring ceremony. Some Doms are the only ones who speak during the ceremony, while the officiants speak for the sub. 

Alternatively, they may take the vows from the sub and Dom before presenting the collar to the Dom to conduct the ritual. You and your partner will decide the officiant’s role, so ensure you are all comfortable with the officiant.

• Ritual

A ritual could be as complex or simple as you want it. There are various ways you can have your rituals conducted, in which you can choose to have an officiant to help you through the steps. The Dom is presented with the collar by an already submitted slave, officiant, or other trustworthy person and puts the collar around the sub’s neck. 

A series of steps could be taken before or after the sub is collared, which include lighting candles, covering the sub’s body with smoke, or any other intimate act the couple may want to perform. The slave is often required to kneel before the Dom to be collared, but it may not be necessary.

The ritual could be as intimate as you want it to be. However, it’s best to keep the venue and the theme of your BDSM ceremony in your mind. Whether or not you invite guests and whom you invite could also be a determining factor in planning your rituals.

Planning Your BDSM Ceremony

Now that you know what a collaring ceremony is, it is time to start planning it. You’ll need to consider various things to make the best of your BDSM ceremony, and your costumes aren’t the least of them.

Theme

The theme is crucial to setting the tone of your collaring ceremony. It will set the overall mood of the event and give you and your partner a chance to express your inner style and the dynamic of your relationship.

Choose your theme carefully, something close to your style, aura, and how you wanted your collaring ceremony to turn out. It can be a formal event with the presence of several guests, a more colloquial one with a few close friends and family, or an incredibly sexy one, engaging the spirit of the BDSM world.

However, kinky isn’t necessary when it comes to collaring ceremonies, so you don’t have to restrict yourself to the scenario. Instead, explore your options with your partner and choose one that suits your style best.

The Guests

While not all BDSM couples invite guests to their collaring ceremony, sharing the moment with your loved ones can make it more special. Decide whether you want to ask your family and friends from the vanilla world who know about your lifestyle or keep it to your BDSM buddies and enjoy the night with them.

You can also decide to have an intimate BDSM ceremony with your partner, but even then, the event could involve several participants. This is due to the polyamorous nature of BDSM relationships, where one person can have several committed relationships with the consent of all the people involved.

Dress Code

The dress code is part of the theme of your collaring ceremony, so you want to make sure they both are in sync with one another.  

Remember, the dress code doesn’t just apply to the guests. It also determines what you and your partner will wear for the collaring ceremony. You want your attire to be unique, to distinguish you from the guests but also true to the theme of your collaring ceremony. 

Costumes, black tie attire, cocktail, or more casual outfits; options are endless when it comes to dressing codes for a collaring ceremony, giving you a chance to channel your inner creativity.

Many BDSM ceremonies have a kinky theme, which may ask guests to show up in more conventional BDSM attire or even in an au natural state, clad in nothing but their skin.

Timings and Venue

Your venue could be the beach, garden, backyard, or a BDSM club, for your collaring ceremony. Choosing to have your BDSM ceremony in a private place will give you more freedom regarding the timing and how you choose to conduct it.

Before you decide upon a particular venue, check in with the management regarding their policies towards the BDSM lifestyle, especially if it’s a public place. 

Reception

Here comes the fun part. Now that we’re over with the formalities, it’s time to sit back and celebrate your collaring ceremony. 

Have a drink with your friends, dance with your partner, and even add a few kinky activities to the list! Reception is the time to enjoy your BDSM ceremony and create memories worth remembering, so make sure you’ve made some cherishable ones and have no regrets.

Examples Of BDSM Ceremony

As mentioned before, a BDSM ceremony is what you and your partner make it to be. You’ll find many examples of a collaring ceremony, with enough differences to establish this fact. 

Here are a few unique ones to give your imagination a kickstart.

Of Petals and Roses

Kim shares a heart-touching story of her BDSM ceremony, in which many symbolic elements of a collaring ceremony are reflected. The event began with her walking down the aisle in a simple yet alluring white dress representing her innocence and willingness to submit to her Master. 

The ceremony proceeded with an officiant’s help, where Sir Jo and Kim took their vows through a series of heartfelt speeches. Other slaves of the Dom were also present and assisted him in completing the rituals. Sir Jo pricked his finger and the finger of his sub, drawing blood and letting it drip onto the white roses brought by his other slave. This symbolizes the slave’s submission to her Master and his willingness to protect and own her.

The ritual ended with Kim being flogged by her Master and the other Doms present in the collaring ceremony to help her with the onset of her new journey.

A Sip Of Golden Nectar

The collaring ceremony of Ms. Siren and boy John began with the Mistress seated on a chair and her slave kneeling at her feet. 

Instead of an officiant, the Dominatrix chose to do all the talking herself, taking her vows and the vows from her slave. All materials necessary for the ritual were already placed on a table before her arrival.

She allows him to drink from the goblet of wine, the “Golden Nectar,” after he offers his love to her. John then honors his Mistress by kissing her feet three times and accepts her lashes as a sign of submission and obedience. 

Ms. Siren ends the collaring ceremony by binding the collar on his neck, the leash he willingly offers, symbolizing their commitment.

Final Advice On Planning Your Collaring Ceremony

Planning your BDSM ceremony can be pretty easy once you’ve got the basics right and know what you’re getting yourself into. Next, discuss with your partner your intentions towards the collaring ceremony and how you envision it. 

Tell them about the rituals and vows you are comfortable with and what you aren’t. It’s a special moment for both of you, so planning out the details will save you from last-minute hassles and allow you to organize the event according to your wishes.

Ultimately, a collaring ceremony is an event to enjoy rather than be tense. So, take a deep breath and remember why you made this decision in the first place. Then, just make sure you’ve made the most of your efforts and enjoyed doing so in the first place, and everything will turn out just fine. Trust me.