While BDSM is often associated with the presence of a dominant and submissive partner, it’s essential to note that BDSM can also be a solo activity. Maybe they are single or want to explore their desires and limits in a BDSM context first on their own; BDSM practices alone can be a way to do so safely and also very satisfying.
BDSM solo play is a term used to describe BDSM activities that an individual performs without the involvement of another person. Solo play can include activities such as self-bondage, self-spanking, and self-flagellation. Solo play can also be a great way to achieve subspace without needing someone to dominate over you.
However, it’s essential to remember that BDSM activities can be physically and emotionally intense, and safety should always be a top priority. Therefore, we recommend that anyone engaging in solo BDSM play take appropriate safety precautions, such as having a safety plan, using proper equipment, and being aware of the risks associated with certain activities.
This article will explore various ways to help you master the mystery of seducing yourself as a single in BDSM.
8 Must-Try Ways to Indulge in Solo Play
Having a partner to discover your kinks is excellent, but learning them on your own could be even more exciting. So, dear readers, let us find ways you can enjoy yourself!
1. Self Bondage
Self-bondage is a great way to start with your solo practice. Being tied up is always exciting, but tying yourself up can be a bit challenging but possible. However, no matter how compelling the idea of tying yourself up sounds, always ensure that you are safe— after all, you do not want to embarrass yourself.
The simplest and safest approach is to bind your legs, breasts, or genitalia instead of your hands. Or Tie only one hand while leaving the other free.
Instead of using rope, try using cuffs with reachable keys. Doing so will give you the impression of being restrained without limits. Ensure you can escape from it, even if your fingers are numb. Just in case, have scissors on hand while playing with rope. And in case you are using metal handcuffs (Sir M recommends those high-end handcuffs here), it’s best that you also keep a backup key within reach. For handcuffs playing alone, the same applies as for playing with your partner; thus, read our article on “How To Safely Use Handcuffs During Sex.”
Since we are on the subject, you should also know the different types of self-bondage. So let’s look at the two kinds of self-bondage you can try.
Sensual Self-Bondage
This self-bondage implies having the capacity to break free of restrictions at any time and without delay.
The ability to merely experience being restrained without further hurdles means that the items or equipment required to release or remove the bindings are within reach. You can try seducing yourself by dragging fur or a silk cloth over your entire body or your erogenous zones to get a sensual feeling.
Strict Self-Bondage
Strict self-bondage is riskier and occurs when there is no way to escape, and a release mechanism that self-activates is available only after a certain amount of time. This kind of self-bondage intensifies the feeling of helplessness.
For instance, you can restrict your hands with small chains and a timer padlock. Tying yourself up with a rope and playing with yourself while being restricted will also give you a feeling of immense pleasure, as it can feel like someone is dominating you.
I recommend starting with the former type of self-bondage (sensual), and as you become a more incredible Master of yourself, you can always try amping up the game.
Related read: Explore These 10 Top 10 Self Bondage Techniques Today
2. Collars and Cuffs
You must think SIr M is joking, but I am not! Dolling yourself up with cuffs and collars can help you get turned on quickly, and if you can dress up for your Master, why not dress up for yourself? So, doll up for yourself and start exploring the dressing styles you would prefer for yourself.
You can try out various outfits that make you look more submissive or that turn you on more. But you must try wearing collars and cuffs. It’s a perfect look for a sub.
Being handcuffed will make you feel like you are completely controlled and help you picture the naughty things you would want someone else to do to you.
Putting a collar on your neck will make you feel like a sub who is being kinky and wants to be dominated by someone, which will ultimately make you do things that you want for yourself so badly.
3. Edging
Edging refers to a practice where one brings themselves to the brink of an orgasm but then stops or slows down stimulation to delay or deny their orgasm. It can create a heightened sense of arousal and anticipation and is also a form of control or punishment.
As a single player, you can use various forms of stimulation, such as sex toys.
You can verbally tease yourself while watching porn, touch your entire body to bring yourself close to an orgasm, and just when you are about to let go, hold your horses.
Repeat the process over and over again before allowing yourself to be free.
Denying or prolonging your orgasms will give you a strong sense of arousal. After tormenting yourself, when you finally decide to let go, the experience will be more intense.
It sounds like an exciting way to get naughty with yourself, right? So why not try it?
Related article for men: Ejaculation Withholding – The Path To Be A Multiorgasmic Men
4. Orgasm Torture
You thought that edging was fun? Wait, I have got more in store for you. Orgasm torture is essentially the opposite of edging. It means giving someone all the sexual stimulation orgasms they can handle and then even more.
You can try giving these loads of orgasms to yourself to feel on top of the world. Trust me; we do not always need a Master to spice things up. Having back-to-back orgasms is excellent, but we also need to consider the fact that having multiple orgasms is easier for vagina owners compared to those with penises. The reason is that it takes hardly one to two minutes for the clitoris to get stimulated again, whereas, for penises, the refractory period is longer.
Orgasm torture will make you feel like you are forcing yourself to come. It will make you feel like you are torturing yourself, not your dominant partner. You will discover your kinks even more once you incorporate orgasm tortures into your solo play.
Moreover, if you are using a strong vibrator to give yourself multiple orgasms, then it can cause you pain and irritation. Eventually, there might come a time when your nerve endings would get used to the intense stimulation. Hence they might not respond to mild or moderate stimulation. If you find yourself in such a situation, I would suggest you take a break for some time and try using your hand or a gentler vibrator so your nerves can again respond to mild stimulation.
5. Use Sex Toys
Do you think only wizards have a magic wand? Unfortunately, no. The best invention, in my opinion, is sex toys.
They are like having a partner, even if you do not have one. You can use them and control them the way you like. Hence, I call them the magic wands of the human world.
Various machines can help you achieve the relief you want. Let’s discuss a bit about some of them.
Sex machines are an excellent choice for subs. They can make you cum in any position you like, and that is what most subs are after, right? Find a great variety of starter sex machines here on amazon.com, or go for a more advanced version at our partners at stockroom.com.
Thrusters are great too. In essence, they are tiny, portable sex machines. They can’t offer you long thrusts because they lack the strength sex machines have. Yet, they can still give you the impression that you are allowing a device to control and fuck you, which is amusing enough. Find an amazing thruster for men here; if you want a hands-free female version, click here.
Vibrators are sex toys designed to produce vibrations, typically for sexual stimulation. These vibrators come in different shapes, sizes, and designs. They can stimulate the clitoris, vagina, anus, nipples, and other erogenous zones. If you are looking for a really strong vibrator that could be used for women and men (with attachments), we strongly recommend the original magic wand.
But there are different types of vibrators, such as bullet vibrators, vibrating wands, rabbit vibrators, and G-spot vibrators. You can use any vibrator you like. As long as it gets the job done, it’s yours to keep.
These sex toys are great, especially when a dominant partner is using them on you. However, even if you are alone and in a kinky mood, they still are a great way to get kinkier with yourself.
6. Go Online
You are not the only one who is discovering yourself. There are thousands of others out there who are as helpless as you are. Fortunately, the internet is a great way to get started for all solo players or BDSM singles. Various websites challenge and instruct solo BDSM players to play with themselves.
Here are a few websites that might help all BDSM singles.
- Sadistic Games offer free fun videos for solo play.
- FemSubDenial contains many links instructing on female masturbation.
7. BDSM Porn
Watching porn is the mainstay of solo play among everyone. However, watching someone else submit to their dominant partner could give you the same jitters you feel when a partner dominates you.
However, listening to BDSM porn is even more pleasurable, and you ask me how?
When you listen to erotic audios of people submitting to their Master, it makes you feel like you are the one receiving the instructions. You do as the audio says, and if you listen to quality content, I assure you great pleasure, my friend. So just be open to listening to porn even if you think watching BDSM porn is more fun.
One way to enjoy BDSM porn while listening to it is to make it interactive. If the person in the audio is instructing their sub to do something, like a good girl, you can reply to the audio with “yes, Daddy.”
Another way to enjoy your audio porn is to listen to kinky porn that ends on a countdown or follow Jerk Off Instructions (JOI).
The best strategy to make you feel like you are trying hard to satisfy someone is to have them count you down to orgasm. And if you reach the peak just at zero, it will seem as though they were instrumental in sending you flying.
8. Self-Flagellation
Flogging or self-flagellation essentially means spanking yourself. As a BDSM solo player, you must try flogging yourself if you want to enjoy some naughty self-time.
Here are some tips for doing self-flagellation the right way.
- Get the right kind of flogger. If you want to be spanked hard, you want a flogger that is easy to hold, lightweight, and manufactured of high-quality materials. Long strands of suede or soft leather are traditional. Although not for beginners, plastic, paracord, and strands with monkey knots are enjoyable.
- Practice first! You can try flogging a pillow first to get the hang of it before trying it on yourself.
- Try out by flogging your arms or legs. Beginners should stick to whipping their backs and bottoms. As you become more of an expert at flogging, you can also explore other areas of your body. However, avoid spanking regions like the stomach or your sides as it could damage internal organs.
- Be relaxed and start slowly. Once you get the hang of it, you will enjoy it.
Some General Tips for Solo Play in BDSM
Besides doing the necessary stuff described above, you can also try the following things for a solo BDSM session to make it even more enjoyable.
- Use an ice cube to tease yourself. Place your glass dildo in the refrigerator, or hold it under hot running water. Perhaps apply some wax to your body’s most delicate parts. In BDSM, this is known as temperature play. If you want the right candle for safe play, visit our BDSMfreedom.me ETSY shop for low-temperature candles and more.
- Play a game of dice. Use a D6 in real life or a dice-rolling app. Decide a number on which you will get to cum.
- Write explicit words and phrases that make you feel hot on your body in places where only you can see them.
- Wear discreet clothing in public. For example, you can try wearing a karaoke rope harness under your clothes. An even more secretive choice is a crotch top rope.
Final Thoughts on Solo Play in BDSM
BDSM as a single or solo play in BDSM seems intimidating initially, but with little practice and determination to be your own Master, you can unravel the art of self-seduction.
No matter how you choose to seduce yourself, always ensure that you put your safety first. For example, self-spanking seems exciting, but not when your butt is red and in severe pain.
Ensure you are gentle with yourself and only exceed your limits when you are way more experienced and know all the safety precautions. So now, let’s go and have a naughty solo session, and remember to let me know in the comments how it went.