You might have wondered what a BDSM collar means in a Dom/sub relationship. At some point, you could have even desired one for yourself or your sub but didn’t because you weren’t sure of its meaning. So, what is a BDSM collar, and what do you do with it?
A BDSM Collar in a Dom/sub relationship is typically a symbol of the commitment of the sub to their Dom, which they could proudly show in public or be discreet about. Like pets, the collar is the property of the Master, and ultimately the final decision belongs to them whether they choose to collar their sub or not.
Different BDSM collars represent different things. It’s better to be aware of the collar types to avoid giving off the wrong intentions and complicating things in your Dom/sub relationship.
What is the Significance Of The Collar For the Sub?
The BDSM collar is not just a piece of jewelry in the kink world. Instead, it’s a sign of total submission by the slave to its Master, determining who holds power in the dynamic.
BDSM collars don’t always need to be around the neck since there is a chance the sub won’t feel comfortable wearing the collar in public. They could be jewelry pieces assigned elsewhere on your body other than your neck.
The collar could also be a bracelet, ring, or a discrete necklace, anything the sub would always wear as a sign of commitment to their Dom.
Consent Of The Sub
Even though collaring is a decision taken by the Dom in a BDSM relationship, it is not without the consent of the sub. Being collared would mean committing yourself to a Dom and not being available for other Doms to approach.
Single submissives may wear a collar as an outward expression of being part of the kink world. It mainly depends on what the collar means for you and what you hope to achieve by wearing it.
In the BDSM culture, it’s a hot debate about wearing a collar as a submissive without being in a relationship. Supporters argue that it expresses one’s submissive identity and empowers the individual. Opponents contend that it dilutes the collar’s significance as a symbol of commitment between a Dominant and a submissive. Ultimately, choosing to wear a collar outside of a relationship depends on personal beliefs and values. Therefore, respecting diverse opinions and practices within the BDSM community is vital, as each person’s journey is unique and valid.
There is no denying the collar is a particularly powerful piece of jewelry with a seductive aura. And you can wear a BDSM collar in public, where its various types allow you to go unnoticed by vanilla people and look great with your outfit.
Show Of Power
Many subs enjoy being collared where the element of ownership by their Masters or Mistresses become more pronounced. It’s kind of like a marriage where everyone in the BDSM world gets to know that you are taken and aren’t available for single Doms anymore.
A proper ceremony occurs in a club or private setting to acknowledge this development, where vows are taken, and the conditions for wearing the collar are laid out. Typically, the sub is allowed to remove their collar only by the permission of their Dom, under their supervision, or under the circumstances laid out in the vow.
Different Types of Collars
Collars have a special place in the BDSM world. First and foremost, collars serve as symbolic representations of the power dynamics and commitment between a dominant and submissive partner. Also, various types of collars are used to signify different stages or aspects of a BDSM relationship. Some common types of collars include:
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Collars Of Consideration
As the name suggests, the collars of consideration can be considered stepping stones in BDSM relationships. This collar is typically used during the early stages of a potential dominant-submissive relationship, representing mutual interest and exploration of compatibility. It signifies that the submissive is “under consideration” by the Dominant as they evaluate their desires, limits, and expectations.
Those collars aren’t as bold as a permanent collar, and the rules governing them aren’t as strict. Unlike a protective collar, its purpose and function differ but lie in the same intermediate area of D/s relationships, where the two can overlap from time to time.
However, it does offer some level of protection for the sub by the Dom against other Doms.
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Training Collars
Doms usually put on a training collar on their sub in bedrooms to conform to their rules. This is usually the next step towards building a relationship with their sub after collars of consideration.
A training collar indicates a more established and committed relationship, where the Dominant actively guides and teaches the submissive in their dynamic. This collar symbolizes the devotion of the sub to learn, grow, and develop within the boundaries and expectations of the relationship.
Primarily used for submissive training, these collars prioritize practicality and functionality over aesthetics and appearance. If the sub accomplished the training successfully, they are often awarded a permanent collar.
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Play Collars
This is a fun collar that BDSM couples like to put on occasionally for role-play. They help set the tone and atmosphere for the scene, emphasizing the roles of the Dominant and submissive partners. Play collars can also be used by vanilla couples who enjoy BDSM every once in a while.
Those collars are seductive, bold, fun jewelry, often coming along with a leash that helps get into the mood. It doesn’t have significant meaning between a Dom/sub about their power dynamic and is not meant to signify a long-term commitment. Play collars are mostly avoided wearing in public.
Single submissives wear it without the fear of commitment to their play partner and take it off according to their will.
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Day Collars
Day collars are much more discreet BDSM collars, ones that you can openly wear in public without raising questions from vanilla folk. It allows the submissive to maintain a connection to their dominant partner outside their home and display their submission more subtly.
These are tight O or D ring necklaces, shorter in length than other necklaces, and can be found in various designs that would complement your day outfit and keep prying eyes at bay. Here’s a beautiful rose gold day collar for you to enjoy for everyday wear.
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Permanent Collars
These BDSM collars symbolize a bond between the Dom and sub and are based on a proper collaring ceremony, where vows are taken to uphold the commitment between the D/s duo.
Permanent collars, also known as “slave collars” or “ownership collars,” finally represent a deep, long-term commitment between the Dom and sub. The permanent collar signifies the submissive’s complete surrender to the Dominant and the acceptance of their authority and control.
Permanent collars hold special meaning for BDSM couples and can not be taken off under any circumstances unless laid out otherwise.
Gorean Collar
John Norman’s Gor book series inspire those collars; the Gorean collar represents an extreme power exchange between Master and slave.
In terms of appearance, Gorean collars are often wider, more rigid, and feature a more prominent lock than other BDSM collars. This distinctive design underscores the fantasy elements and hierarchical relationship unique to the Gorean dynamic.
Final Thoughts on BDSM Collars
BDSM collars are an important symbol in the kink world and show commitment between a Dom/sub couple. However, like other elements in a relationship, collars are what you and your partner make them.
Since there are several different collar types, and each indicates a different level of commitment and the chemistry behind the dynamic, there’s a lot for you to choose from.
You could be a sub under training (training collar), having a kinky time back at the club (play collar), or wearing one as a committed sub outside your four walls (day collar). A BDSM collar will be there to save your neck (a bit literally, in this case). All you need to do is get your background knowledge straight and decide which one suits you and your partner best.
Whether you’re a sub who wants to be collared or not, you can’t deny that they are powerful jewelry pieces and highly versatile and sexy to wear.