Sex should be exhilarating, an encounter that should get both partners excited. But, sadly, that initial spark can sometimes fade over time. Sure, you’ll still have a great time. But it will lose some of the unpredictability you experienced the first time you made love. So, is there a way to spice up your sex life by creatively turning on your partner? Have you thought about playing with a bit of ice and fire?
Temperature play is a technique used in BDSM sex, where hot or cold objects are used to stimulate your partner, like tracing an ice cube down their body, provoking a sensual reaction. Temperature play can be combined with bondage or blindfolding to ignite the sensation further.
Here are some spicy ideas to explore temperature play ideas in your bedroom that will drive you or your partner wild.
Stimulate Them With An Ice Cube
Ice cubes aren’t just helpful in keeping your drinks cool. It can also bring a massive amount of sexual pleasure. There are dozens of ways that you can use ice; here are a few suggestions:
- Trace the ice cube around your partner’s body. Allow the ice’s coolness to contrast against their skin’s warmth. This is particularly effective around their erogenous zones, like the breasts, stomach, or neck. You can use your tongue to lick up the water if you want. You can also place your partner in restraints to take it to the next level. You might also want to use a blindfold to force them to pay attention to the cooling sensation.
- Kiss with the ice in your mouth. The coolness of the ice cube will contrast with the warmth of your tongue and mouth. If you want, you can swap the piece of ice from your mouth to your partner’s until it dissolves into water.
- Use flavored ice cubes. Consider adding some flavor to the ice cube to make playing with your partner even more pleasurable and tasty.
- Applying ice to your partner’s genitals. The cool sensation can stimulate a strong reaction and create an intense orgasm. First, though, it’s best to ensure that you have thoroughly lubricated the area and that the ice doesn’t get stuck to their skin. It’s also a good idea to wait a few minutes for the ice to start melting to lower the chance of it further sticking to the skin. Plus, it’s best not to use the ice internally. You don’t want to risk damaging these sensitive areas or causing an infection.
- Blow cold air. If you hold the ice cube in your mouth and purse your lips tightly, you can direct a burst of cold air onto your partner.
- Use cold water. If you prefer, you don’t have to use ice. Instead, you can use cold water, shaking it onto your partner’s body when they start to get too hot.
This is just the tip of the iceberg. Feel free to experiment and come up with your own ice cube bedroom games.
Drizzling Warm or Cold Food Over Your Lover
Another popular part of temperature play is sprinkling food over your lover’s body. This can be the warmth of chocolate syrup or the chill of ice cream. Try spreading these foods across your partner’s chest, then using your tongue to lick it up. If you want, you can blindfold them during this process.
There are a few safety considerations to keep in mind if you want to use food during temperature play; these include:
- Check the temperature first. A warm sensation on your partner’s chest will cause them to purr in delight. But too hot, and they’ll be squealing in pain. So, it’s best to check the temperature on your inner wrist before drizzling it over your lover.
- Keep foods away from your partner’s genitals. You don’t want to accidentally get a yeast infection or end up with a UTI (Urinary Tract Infection). To prevent this, you can place some fabric over their genitals until you have had the chance to lick up all the food.
Other than this, feel free to play around. Try different foods and textures to see which brings you the most pleasure.
Changing Your Mouth Temperature Before Oral Sex
As we mentioned, you can use an ice cube to change the temperature of your mouth when kissing your partner. But this technique starts to shine during oral sex. In this case, you just need to suck on an ice cube before oral sex with your partner.
This technique is especially useful for couples who enjoy some BDSM. Cold temperatures can help to delay orgasm. So, if your sub is about to cum, but you aren’t ready for the fun to end, you can use the ice to slow them down.

An alternative is changing the temperature of your hand when masturbating with your partner. Keep one hand at normal room temperature while placing the other into a bucket of ice to cool it down. Then, you can switch. This will produce a mix of hot and cold that will drive them wild.
Changing The Temperature of Your Sex Toys
If you are ready for a new type of sexual sensation, you can use temperature play with your sex toys. Before doing this, you’ll need to ensure that you have suitable toys; but for this, you don’t need to run to the next sex shop downtown, be surprised by what you could discover within your household already – more details you will find here. This temperature play idea will work with stainless steel or glass toys. You’ll need to make sure that they are waterproofed.
Here are some ways to change the temperature:
- Cooling your toys in the fridge. One of the most obvious solutions is to place your toy in the fridge. Often, you just need to wait a few hours for it to cool down, and the fun can begin.
- Cooling them in cold water. Another option is to run your toys under cold water. If you want to cool them down faster, you can put them into an ice bucket.
- Warm them with hot water. The best way to heat your toys is by placing them in a warm water container. Check their temperature against your wrist to avoid burning sensitive areas.
- Using a heating pad to warm them. You can also place your toys on a heating pad to warm them up. Keep it to the lowest setting to avoid damaging your toys. Usually, it will take around ten minutes.
You might need to take a break to re-adjust the temperatures, keeping the toy feeling the way you want. Generally, metal toys will do a better job of retaining the temperature.
Use Hot or Cold Lube
Interestingly, you can also change the temperature by the lube you use. You will start to feel the hot or cold sensations as soon as you apply the lube to the skin. You can also blow on it to enhance how it feels.
There is a range of hot and cold lubes available. This allows you to experiment with how intense you want the sensation to be. However, it’s best to choose from a well-known manufacturer so you aren’t risking chemical burns from a cheap and nasty product.
Dripping Candle Wax on A Submissive
Sometimes, you might want to use candle wax during BDSM play. The sensation of the warm wax hitting your body can bring an exhilarating mix of pleasure and pain. Though this is one of the most extreme things mentioned in this article, it’s essential to establish a safe word with your partner if they get too uncomfortable. Here are a few other tips to make sure that you are doing this safely:

- Choose body-safe candles. These will often be made from soy to have a lower melting point. They also have special oils, which will leave the skin feeling smooth.
- Protect your furniture. Your partner might enjoy having hot wax dropped on them, but your couches won’t. You can lay down some plastic sheeting to protect from accidentally wax droplets. It’s also a good idea to remove anything flammable from the area.
- Prepare your lover’s body with baby oil. Removing wax can be a painful experience if you don’t prepare it properly. Baby oil will help to prevent this problem. Of course, it’s also a good idea to shave.
- Avoid dropping wax onto genitals. Avoid placing the wax on any sensitive areas. This includes the genitals. Also, it’s best to steer clear of any scratches that are still healing.
- Have a bucket of warm water ready. If something goes wrong, there is a chance that the wax can burn the skin. If this occurs, the cold water’s shock can worsen the pain. So instead, it’s best to apply warm water.
As long as you keep these safety tips in mind, you can do a massive range of things with candle wax. For example, create shapes and patterns on the submissive’s skin. You might even want to use two candles, blending the colors. You can also experiment with different fragrances or change the height when you drop the wax, manipulating the temperature of the wax hitting the skin. These low-temperature candles are a great way to get started; they smell great and have been explicitly designed for BDSM play.
Those who are more experienced might want to move on to fire play. Some ideas for this type of kink play include:
- Candle or lighter play. In this case, you will want to hold the flame close to your partner’s sensitive areas. This will allow them to feel the burn. But you don’t want it to be too close that you risk burning them. If you want to take this to the next level, you can use restraints to hold them in place.
- Fire flesh. This is a little more dangerous. In this case, you will need to add a small amount of flammable material to their skin. You can then light it up and use a damp cloth to wipe it down. While it will feel warm, the fire shouldn’t be hot enough or last long enough to burn the skin.
- Fire drumming. In this case, you might consider using fire drumsticks to tap on your partner’s flesh. If you like, you can try to tap the beat of your favorite song.
It should go without saying, but using flames within the bedroom can be dangerous. So, it’s essential to have safety precautions in place to avoid burning your partner. As always, it’s essential to have a safe word that your partner can use if things get too intense.
Dripping Massage Oil
Another option is to drip warm massage oil onto a submissive. This serves two purposes. First, the warmth can be a major turn-on, helping you achieve a powerful orgasm. Secondly, massage oil can help accentuate the natural curves of your partner’s body. Here are some tips you can use to create the most pleasurable experience with hot massage oil:

- Coconut oil can be used as lube. You might want to use coconut oil as a lubricant. If you are taking this approach, though, you can’t use latex condoms, as this can lead to tears.
- Give a stimulating massage. It’s a great idea to use coconut oil to give your partner a sexy massage. Pay attention to the erogenous zones, as rubbing these areas can provide a powerful orgasm.
- Lick the coconut oil from your lover. Not only will coconut oil smell sexy and make your partner look amazing, but it also tastes delicious. Even better, coconut oil is an aphrodisiac, helping to boost your libido. This type of coconut oil on Amazon.com is a great option; it feels fantastic on the skin and won’t stain your sheets.
As always, you should test the temperature on your wrist before you apply it to your partner. This ensures that you don’t accidentally burn them. If you use coconut oil, you will only need to microwave it for a few seconds to get it hot enough. Or you can rub it between your fingers to warm it up.
A potential downside is that the oil may stain your sheets. But this doesn’t need to be a significant problem. You can simply use baking soda to get rid of any stains.
Final Thoughts
Temperature play is a great way to take your BDSM play to the next level. For example, you can use blindfolds to force a submissive to focus even more on the sensation. Or you can use restraints to put them at your mercy as you decide whether to use temperature play to punish or reward.
On top of that, you don’t need much gear to experiment with temperature play in the bedroom. You can use a low-temperature candle to bring the heat and some soothing coconut oil to cool your partner down again. So, try using temperature play today to add a little extra passion to your BDSM sex life.
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