30 Proven Ways To Reward And Keep Your BDSM Sub Happy

When training and playing with the sub, there’s often so much focus on punishments that simple nuances such as rewards get forgotten.

Rewards show appreciation and affirmation, which help cultivate a fulfilling BDSM experience and strengthen your relationship. Try surprise physical gifts, spending quality time with your sub, physical affection, acts of service, erotic gifts, and role reversal as rewards for your sub. Reward your sub when they show enthusiasm, obey instructions, and engage in desired behaviors.

Are you ready to explore how you, as a Dom, can show appreciation and affirmation to your sub and make their little heart bubble? Join us as we uncover 30 proven rewards for subs that will keep them happy.

But first thing first. Why reward your submissive partner?

The Benefits of Rewarding a Sub

It can be easy to overlook the importance of rewarding a BDSM Sub in a long-term relationship. Yet, proper rewards for subs can be invaluable in motivating them and inspiring the highest quality of the submission. 

One of the essential benefits of rewarding your sub is that it encourages surrender. By fulfilling their desires, you can better their understanding of trusting you, which builds a strong foundation upon which they can easily obey your instructions– a vital attribute of any successful BDSM relationship addition, rewarding the sub shows that you value and appreciate the efforts they make and the relationship they have with you. This can also motivate and inspire the sub to strive for personal growth, as your appreciation serves as a reward for small successes. 

In addition, enhancing the BDSM experience through rewards provides the atmosphere for communication and exploration. Emotional cues and feelings may uncover new preferences, deepen your sub’s understanding of themselves and you as their Dom, and even help discover new avenues of pleasure and trust.

Overall, rewards can be a valuable tool in strengthening a BDSM relationship. They serve as an incentive to motivate, inspire and reward your sub while also providing a platform to deepen your understanding of each other. This can help cultivate a genuinely fulfilling and rewarding romantic relationship.

How to Reward a BDSM Sub: 30 Great Sub Rewards Ideas

Rewarding your sub can take on many forms. However, the purpose of BDSM rewards should always remain the same: to show appreciation and affirmation when they follow instructions, remain obedient, or uphold a desired behavior. Here are 30 sub-rewards ideas under various unique categories.

Tangible Gifts

1. Surprise them with their favorite sweet treat or beverage.
2. Spice up their style with a new outfit or accessory.
3. Buy them a special BDSM toy like one of these electroplay toys from our partner shop.

Quality Time

4. Watch your favorite movie together.
5. Spend some outside time with a leisurely walk or a romantic picnic.
6. Participate in some enjoyable game time together.
7. Get into some bedtime storytelling fun together.

Physical Touch

8. Tenderly pat their head.
9. Gently touch their face as they lay their head on your lap.
10. Enjoy a cuddle session with a snuggle with your sub.
11. Playfully run your fingers through their hair, and spice it up with a fantasizing head-scratcher/scalp massager.
12. Show them affection by wrapping your arms around them.
13. Give them a gentle tug towards you, with a firm hold of their neck.

Affirming Words

14. Show love by calling them pet names if they like it.
15. Offer encouraging words to help build their self-esteem.
16. Give compliments to help them feel appreciated.
17. Take the gesture one step further and publicly praise them.
18. Give your sub a handwritten love letter or card with a personal note as a token of your appreciation. 

Acts of Service

19. Offer your submissive partner a relaxing massage.
20. Prepare and serve your sub with their favorite meal.
21. Giving your sub a luxurious bubble bath.
22. Allow the sub to sleep in your bed for a night.
23. Bring your sub breakfast in bed.

Erotic Gifts

24. Shower them with a subspace or an orgasm they will never forget
25. Engage in a public play session.
26. Adapt to their unique fetishes to add some spice.

Role Reversal

27. Enjoy a wild night, get naked, and let the sub have their way.
28. Let them dive into their fantasy by allowing them to create their dream scene.
29. Allow the sub to take charge of the type of play they want.
30. Let the sub pick the toys for the scene.

In What Circumstances Should a Sub Be Rewarded?

Creating an environment where rewards are earned is just as important as creating an environment where punishments are given when warranted. Knowing when a sub should be rewarded for excellent behavior and enthusiastic obedience is essential to being a successful Dom (more about becoming a successful Dom here in our article on Dom training).

The general rule of thumb for when to reward is quite simple – when the sub shows enthusiastic obedience or does something beyond what was asked, whether during a training session or day-to-day BDSM activities. Showing enthusiasm, drive, and effort puts the submissive in a positive state of mind, often leading to more creative thought processes. Regarding plays, BDSM rewards can be used when the sub does an excellent job of obeying orders and completing tasks beyond what was asked of them. 

It is up to the Dom to decide what constitutes good behavior and enthusiastic obedience. But overall, rewards for subs should be for following the rules, obeying instructions, and displaying enthusiasm. Rewarding your sub can be beneficial for both parties, as it indicates approval from the Dom, enhances the connection between them, and motivates the sub to keep up their good behavior. 

Tips

Here are five tips that will help you make the most of your rewards and keep your submissive motivated to please you both on and off the playroom floor:

1. First, BDSM rewards should be tailored to your sub’s personality. For example, some subs may appreciate a new toy as a reward, while others may be happier with something that displays your appreciation of them, such as a card with a personal note. 
2. It’s also important to remember that rewards should have meaning and purpose. A reward should be a gentle reminder of the desired behavior and feel like an accomplishment. Bribing your sub with rewards can heavily damage the dynamics of the relationship. 
3. Additionally, it is sensible to use BDSM rewards occasionally to avoid turning them into a “payment” scheme. Instead, make your rewards a surprise that makes your sub feel special and appreciated.
4. Finding the balance between training, reward, punishment and funishment is essential for all BDSM relationships. Eventual rewards for subs for good behavior should always be accompanied by discussions about why the behavior should be repeated in the future – teaching your sub why it is beneficial.
5. Lastly, don’t go extravagant on physical gifts. Give only what you can afford, and remember the thought that counts. A thank-you card or reading them a book can be more meaningful than something expensive, like a new outfit or accessory.

FAQs

What are some long-distance BDSM reward ideas for your sub?

Some creative long-distance BDSM rewards for your sub can include:

1. Verbal praise. Tell them how proud you are of their obedience and the effort they put into meeting their goals.
2. Lift some of their restrictions: You can show appreciation by allowing them to engage in activities they may be restricted from doing. This could be something as simple as allowing them to masturbate or something more enticing, like allowing them to wear clothing they enjoy.
3. Plan a virtual date. Make use of technology and plan a romantic night for your special someone. This could include a cozy Skype call to a raunchy day of virtual sex. For playing remotely, find sexciting ideas and toys here.

What is a ‘good girl’ BDSM reward?

A ‘good girl’ is someone who adheres to and respects her Dom’s rules, guidelines, and expectations. She shows true dedication to their relationship while striving to be the best she can be and adding value to her Dom’s life. A good girl reward is any reward that reinforces her position as a cherished, commendable submissive, such as a small gift, extra loving words of praise, a warm hug, a pass to do something special, or additional permission to ‘bend’ the rules for a limited time. 

Conclusion

When it comes to rewards for subs, think of it as a form of positive reinforcement that helps the sub feel valued and motivated and creates an overall positive atmosphere in the session. When done correctly, it can benefit the dynamic even outside the playroom.

Rewarding your sub can be as simple as a pat on the head, a verbal appreciation, or thankful words on a card. It can also extend to offering some exceptional food, gifts, or other tangible items. Talk to your sub and determine what reward type works best for them.